So, I finished Cosmic Banditos by A.C. Weisbecker. i like it. a
lot. not quite sure what it was about, well, that's not true, it was
about everything and nothing, it was like reading a diary, not so much a
story, and knowing that it was loosely based off actual events makes it
that much cooler. i wonder how much was actually true, or if anything
he wrote actually happened?
the writing is straightforward, and good, and easy. words just follow
each other smoothly, it's not a chore to read, even when he is talking
about quantum physics. he writes in a simple voice, and descriptive
enough to paint a great picture in your head. the story itself is
interesting. overall, it was a quick read and a really really enjoyable
book. it also made me stop and think and ponder, which i like in a
book.
i would definitely recommend it, but you have to have a certain personality to read it. it's not for everyone.
glad i read it, but i don't think i want to read his other two books. i'm happy with just this one.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Monday, October 29, 2012
memento mori
aint written in a while, but a goodly amount of vodka has taken care of that for now. i feel all "write-y" even though i know it's all shit.
memento mori.
that is the only thing that keeps me going. someday i will die and so none of this shit matters. all my failed dreams mean nothing five seconds after i die.
the only thing is death isn't quick, it's slow and boring, like church or opera when you're five years old. it seems to take forever.
i have that knot in my stomach, that yearning for something i can't describe, that sadness of something lost, perhaps something i never had to begin with, but i know deep in the marrow of my bones i'm somehow missing something that is right there. i can't shake that feeling of i somehow fucked up but don't know exactly how or where. it gnaws at me, it taunts me like a spectre just outside my vision, if i turn quick to see it, it's gone. i can't shake it, life is nothing more than a shit frosted puke cake. looks good, but really it just makes you sick, kicks you in the nuts, and moves on.
face it, the planet doesn't want us here. there are so many things that area against us; weather, animals, disease, virii, all these things that are trying to destroy us. we don't belong here. we fight to survive just long enough to die. what a fucking joke.
memento mori.
nothing works out like you expect, some people say it didn't work out like it's supposed to, but that is wrong. it works out just like it works out, and that is that. there is no right or wrong way. there is no right or wrong, there just...."is." perhaps it's the winter, the cold that i feel deep under my skin, but i feel like no matter what i do i'm wrong.
i should be riding. i should be working out. i should be doing lots of things. but i'm not. and this is stress for me.
my only consolation.....it ultimately doesn't matter.
memento mori.
memento mori.
that is the only thing that keeps me going. someday i will die and so none of this shit matters. all my failed dreams mean nothing five seconds after i die.
the only thing is death isn't quick, it's slow and boring, like church or opera when you're five years old. it seems to take forever.
i have that knot in my stomach, that yearning for something i can't describe, that sadness of something lost, perhaps something i never had to begin with, but i know deep in the marrow of my bones i'm somehow missing something that is right there. i can't shake that feeling of i somehow fucked up but don't know exactly how or where. it gnaws at me, it taunts me like a spectre just outside my vision, if i turn quick to see it, it's gone. i can't shake it, life is nothing more than a shit frosted puke cake. looks good, but really it just makes you sick, kicks you in the nuts, and moves on.
face it, the planet doesn't want us here. there are so many things that area against us; weather, animals, disease, virii, all these things that are trying to destroy us. we don't belong here. we fight to survive just long enough to die. what a fucking joke.
memento mori.
nothing works out like you expect, some people say it didn't work out like it's supposed to, but that is wrong. it works out just like it works out, and that is that. there is no right or wrong way. there is no right or wrong, there just...."is." perhaps it's the winter, the cold that i feel deep under my skin, but i feel like no matter what i do i'm wrong.
i should be riding. i should be working out. i should be doing lots of things. but i'm not. and this is stress for me.
my only consolation.....it ultimately doesn't matter.
memento mori.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
another night in a small colorado town
i am currently in fight mode with my woman, she is surfing the red tide and has become a vile evil monster, as she does for one week each month. seriously, she is completely and totally Mr Hyde, compared to her usual mild mannered and flowery happy Dr. Jekyll. it started last night, i said something innocuous, she got offended and upset and decided to leave. i eagerly let her go, and probably won't actually converse with her for a few days, when the real her returns.
as a result, i had nothing to do this evening. no plans. there is a festival afoot in the town, turning a quiet boring town into a chaotic ground zero of smells and sounds and various people of all shapes, mostly pear shapes, but all shapes, promenading up and down the street. there is excitement in the air, as well as the smell of deep fryer oil and shitty cologne.
i started drinking at work when old flame, well, not really a flame, more of a potential spark that never happened, came in to the shop to introduce her two friends from the big city over the hill who came to visit for no apparent reason. they seemed cool and hip in a "we aren't really trying, we are just naturally cool and hip even though we are really trying not to try" sort of way. they left and then returned and invited me for a game of scrabble later in the evening. i took it the old flame wanted to hang out and talk to me or some such nonsense. having absolutely nothing better to do, i agreed.
after a few beers, i wandered across the street to get some books signed and hear an author read and speak. he is a big deal in many small circles, and while he was vastly interesting and entertaining, i could only take so much before i quietly slipped out. even though the streets were packed, the place was rather empty. turns out not the most literate crowd comes to this sort of two day shindig. they are more interested in oversized turkey legs and funnel cakes.
i headed over to the small shop to play some scrabble and chat and laugh it up with my friend and her cool hip friends. in the back of the shop was a fierce scrabble game afoot, the old flame, who had been sort of flirty, was there, as was her current legal husband who detests me and is jealous of me even though nothing ever happened between us and they are sort of split but still living together. a very very very very strange situation. i was invited to sit in and finish the hand she had while she tended to her shop, making sure to never step near me or actually speak to me. it was me, another gal, and her two friends, drinking and playing scrabble in a small shop while there was a festival raging outside.
"so, what do you do when you aren't playing scrabble in small colorado towns?" i asked the tragically hip couple. the lady answered first with a modest "i am a social worker." i explained i am a very anti social worker, causing more missed sales and unhappy customers than not.
i told them of my idea for a t-shirt about life's "ups and downs" with a picture of a UPS truck and a guy with Downs syndrome on it. we traded off color jokes and witty wordplay, we got along famously, seriously, truly, it was good. then they did that thing were couples keep repeating some hilarious phrase to each other as an inside joke, repeating a funny joke or phrase over and over instead of having any conversation with others. for them it was a line from Van Morrison's ringworm, from his Contractual Obligation album. as an aside, i fucking hate Van Morrison. my beer was finished, the game was finished, i no longer wanted to hang out, and i have to work tomorrow, so i thanked everyone, said goodbyes, and rode my bike home in the wonderful night air.
now, here i am with a glass of wine, almost finished. i shall down the glass, shut off the computer, and go to sleep. tomorrow, it all starts again.
another night in a small colorado town.
as a result, i had nothing to do this evening. no plans. there is a festival afoot in the town, turning a quiet boring town into a chaotic ground zero of smells and sounds and various people of all shapes, mostly pear shapes, but all shapes, promenading up and down the street. there is excitement in the air, as well as the smell of deep fryer oil and shitty cologne.
i started drinking at work when old flame, well, not really a flame, more of a potential spark that never happened, came in to the shop to introduce her two friends from the big city over the hill who came to visit for no apparent reason. they seemed cool and hip in a "we aren't really trying, we are just naturally cool and hip even though we are really trying not to try" sort of way. they left and then returned and invited me for a game of scrabble later in the evening. i took it the old flame wanted to hang out and talk to me or some such nonsense. having absolutely nothing better to do, i agreed.
after a few beers, i wandered across the street to get some books signed and hear an author read and speak. he is a big deal in many small circles, and while he was vastly interesting and entertaining, i could only take so much before i quietly slipped out. even though the streets were packed, the place was rather empty. turns out not the most literate crowd comes to this sort of two day shindig. they are more interested in oversized turkey legs and funnel cakes.
i headed over to the small shop to play some scrabble and chat and laugh it up with my friend and her cool hip friends. in the back of the shop was a fierce scrabble game afoot, the old flame, who had been sort of flirty, was there, as was her current legal husband who detests me and is jealous of me even though nothing ever happened between us and they are sort of split but still living together. a very very very very strange situation. i was invited to sit in and finish the hand she had while she tended to her shop, making sure to never step near me or actually speak to me. it was me, another gal, and her two friends, drinking and playing scrabble in a small shop while there was a festival raging outside.
"so, what do you do when you aren't playing scrabble in small colorado towns?" i asked the tragically hip couple. the lady answered first with a modest "i am a social worker." i explained i am a very anti social worker, causing more missed sales and unhappy customers than not.
i told them of my idea for a t-shirt about life's "ups and downs" with a picture of a UPS truck and a guy with Downs syndrome on it. we traded off color jokes and witty wordplay, we got along famously, seriously, truly, it was good. then they did that thing were couples keep repeating some hilarious phrase to each other as an inside joke, repeating a funny joke or phrase over and over instead of having any conversation with others. for them it was a line from Van Morrison's ringworm, from his Contractual Obligation album. as an aside, i fucking hate Van Morrison. my beer was finished, the game was finished, i no longer wanted to hang out, and i have to work tomorrow, so i thanked everyone, said goodbyes, and rode my bike home in the wonderful night air.
now, here i am with a glass of wine, almost finished. i shall down the glass, shut off the computer, and go to sleep. tomorrow, it all starts again.
another night in a small colorado town.
Friday, September 28, 2012
book review: confederacy of dunces
it's friday, 1415 in the afternoon, sunny, warm, i gotta actually go to work in an hour or so.
so this blog is supposed to be about bikes books n' shit. there is plenty of bikes, and more than enough shit, but it's been lean on books as of late. i just don't seem to read as much as i used to. i am trying to rectify that though, i've got about ten books lined up to be read and i'm hoping to read them all in the next ten weeks. we shall see...
so, books....let's talk about a confederacy of dunces by john K Toole.
i know it's been read by everyone, and i'm the last guy to read it. i know it's the greatest book ever. well...i'm not a fan. i didn't like it.
i tried to read it years ago, didn't finish it, didn't like it. i figured i'm older and wiser and would appreciate it more. nope. the main character, Ignatius, a fat annoying frustrating motherfucker is not at all likable, at least not by me. perhaps i know too many people like him, and i can't stand them and don't want anything to do with them, but when i read the book, it just makes me angry and frustrated at him, i don't like him and don't want anything to do with him.
then there is the patois, a lot of the dialogue is written in new orleans vernacular, and while i know it' supposed to help make the story real and give the reader a feel for the area, it's just annoying and frustrating to me.
the cast of characters are somewhat funny, but overall they are indeed dunces, and it's just annoying to read about these idiots. again, perhaps i've seen too many of them in real life and the frustration of dealing with them in real life carries over and ruins my fictional experience. either way, not a fun read, not funny, and there it is.
it's not a horrible book, i just didn't find it as masterful and amazing and deep and funny as everyone says it is. i don't care how many awards it's won, i don't care how satirical and deep it is. it's not an entertaining story, i couldn't care less about the main character, or any of them, and it was more tedious a read than enjoyable.
so, there is that. i wouldn't recommend the book, if a movie ever comes out, i don't' want to see it.
tonight i'm gonna see M John Fayhee...i'm excited about that.
now, i'm off. got shit to do....
so this blog is supposed to be about bikes books n' shit. there is plenty of bikes, and more than enough shit, but it's been lean on books as of late. i just don't seem to read as much as i used to. i am trying to rectify that though, i've got about ten books lined up to be read and i'm hoping to read them all in the next ten weeks. we shall see...
so, books....let's talk about a confederacy of dunces by john K Toole.
i know it's been read by everyone, and i'm the last guy to read it. i know it's the greatest book ever. well...i'm not a fan. i didn't like it.
i tried to read it years ago, didn't finish it, didn't like it. i figured i'm older and wiser and would appreciate it more. nope. the main character, Ignatius, a fat annoying frustrating motherfucker is not at all likable, at least not by me. perhaps i know too many people like him, and i can't stand them and don't want anything to do with them, but when i read the book, it just makes me angry and frustrated at him, i don't like him and don't want anything to do with him.
then there is the patois, a lot of the dialogue is written in new orleans vernacular, and while i know it' supposed to help make the story real and give the reader a feel for the area, it's just annoying and frustrating to me.
the cast of characters are somewhat funny, but overall they are indeed dunces, and it's just annoying to read about these idiots. again, perhaps i've seen too many of them in real life and the frustration of dealing with them in real life carries over and ruins my fictional experience. either way, not a fun read, not funny, and there it is.
it's not a horrible book, i just didn't find it as masterful and amazing and deep and funny as everyone says it is. i don't care how many awards it's won, i don't care how satirical and deep it is. it's not an entertaining story, i couldn't care less about the main character, or any of them, and it was more tedious a read than enjoyable.
so, there is that. i wouldn't recommend the book, if a movie ever comes out, i don't' want to see it.
tonight i'm gonna see M John Fayhee...i'm excited about that.
now, i'm off. got shit to do....
Sunday, September 23, 2012
joys of a new sponge
it's sunday night, 1855 hours pm in the evening, i'm listening to Dion and the Belmonts sing about Run Around Sue pretty much on repeat. i really really really like that damn song....
i'm tired, like all the life force has been sucked out of me. i'm not a close friend of time, so i don't know when the last time i wrote was, feels like a week, but it all started thursday....
went for a kick ass ride thursday, turns out i really really love riding my bike and it makes me happy.
friday, i went for another ride. i rode pretty fucking well, rode stuff i hadn't ridden before, i was catching air like a pro fisherman catches trout, hucking like i was getting paid for it. it felt GREAT.
then friday night i lay in bed, cramping my ass off, for no real reason. i'm pretty sure i was dehydrated, especially since i was pissing brown sand.
saturday, got a bunch of bananas and went to work early, we had an "event," and we worked for 12 straight hours, non stop, granted there was beer involved, but at the end of the day, i was done. got home and i could barely stay awake.
this morning i woke up super early and went to work. it was slow, thankfully, but i'm super tired.
so, what was the highlight of the last few days, other than the super awesome kick ass ride friday?
I GOT A NEW SPONGE!!!! everyone looks for joys in big things, they look for major events or huge instances, they want spectacular views and grand adventures and major things to make them happy. well, my new sponge made me super happy.
i finally replaced my old, dirty, tattered, worn out sponge, with the tomato sauce stains and pieces of burnt steak and other detritus stuck to it. i was pretty sure i was making things dirtier each time i used it to "clean" something. i finally broke down and got a brand new bright yellow sponge with a kelly green scratchy scrubby pad. the old one, which used to be yellow, had it's scrubby pad smoothed out over time, it was more of a "spread the dirt around" pad.
it didn't take an amazing sunset atop a mountain overlooking the sea with whales doing backflips and van halen rocking out on a floating barge and a mass of large breasted hot women dancing topless to make me happy. it took a 79 cent imitation creature of the sea to bring me joy and pleasure. it wasn't lasting joy and pleasure, but it did the trick, and even now as i think of it, it brings a smile to my face.
it doesn't take much for happiness, and i'm sure the happiness comes from inside, the fact that i can get joy from something as simple as a sponge. external things cannot make you happy, including my cheap yellow sponge really, but if you let it, i guess, you can get happiness from ordinary objects, and so i wonder....why do you need an object? why can't you just have the happiness? i'm sure you could, if you wanted to, but perhaps it's easier to manifest happiness through and avatar?
either way, it cheered me up and made me feel good.
now i'm gonna drink a cup of hot tea, maybe wash some dirty dishes with my clean new sponge, and go to sleep.
tomorrow back to work. and maybe a really good bike ride afterward.
i'm tired, like all the life force has been sucked out of me. i'm not a close friend of time, so i don't know when the last time i wrote was, feels like a week, but it all started thursday....
went for a kick ass ride thursday, turns out i really really love riding my bike and it makes me happy.
friday, i went for another ride. i rode pretty fucking well, rode stuff i hadn't ridden before, i was catching air like a pro fisherman catches trout, hucking like i was getting paid for it. it felt GREAT.
then friday night i lay in bed, cramping my ass off, for no real reason. i'm pretty sure i was dehydrated, especially since i was pissing brown sand.
saturday, got a bunch of bananas and went to work early, we had an "event," and we worked for 12 straight hours, non stop, granted there was beer involved, but at the end of the day, i was done. got home and i could barely stay awake.
this morning i woke up super early and went to work. it was slow, thankfully, but i'm super tired.
so, what was the highlight of the last few days, other than the super awesome kick ass ride friday?
I GOT A NEW SPONGE!!!! everyone looks for joys in big things, they look for major events or huge instances, they want spectacular views and grand adventures and major things to make them happy. well, my new sponge made me super happy.
i finally replaced my old, dirty, tattered, worn out sponge, with the tomato sauce stains and pieces of burnt steak and other detritus stuck to it. i was pretty sure i was making things dirtier each time i used it to "clean" something. i finally broke down and got a brand new bright yellow sponge with a kelly green scratchy scrubby pad. the old one, which used to be yellow, had it's scrubby pad smoothed out over time, it was more of a "spread the dirt around" pad.
it didn't take an amazing sunset atop a mountain overlooking the sea with whales doing backflips and van halen rocking out on a floating barge and a mass of large breasted hot women dancing topless to make me happy. it took a 79 cent imitation creature of the sea to bring me joy and pleasure. it wasn't lasting joy and pleasure, but it did the trick, and even now as i think of it, it brings a smile to my face.
it doesn't take much for happiness, and i'm sure the happiness comes from inside, the fact that i can get joy from something as simple as a sponge. external things cannot make you happy, including my cheap yellow sponge really, but if you let it, i guess, you can get happiness from ordinary objects, and so i wonder....why do you need an object? why can't you just have the happiness? i'm sure you could, if you wanted to, but perhaps it's easier to manifest happiness through and avatar?
either way, it cheered me up and made me feel good.
now i'm gonna drink a cup of hot tea, maybe wash some dirty dishes with my clean new sponge, and go to sleep.
tomorrow back to work. and maybe a really good bike ride afterward.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
rock shows and bike rides
it's thursday, feels like saturday. life is fucking GREAT.
saw Rehab last night, i kinda feel bad, it was not a packed house, and the venue is small. very small crowd, and kinda lame crowd, which is no fun for the band. i'm so thankful they came to play though, and they put on a great show. part of the fun was watching the strange crowd, good god there are some characters living in this fucked up little town. one guy, who we called "flannel shirt" had eyes of someone who has murdered and raped children, sunken, sullen, and wild. we were sure while others went out for a smoke break, he went out for a murder break. we pictured him saying things like "i killed a man in reno just to watch him die. then i killed another one, just to hone my craft!" kid couldn't have been more than 25, and his strangely shaped girlfriend who we dubbed "floppy boobies" was dancing all over, and at one point he was sitting there and it looked like he commanded and yelled at her to go and dance on the fucking dance floor! it was odd. he was intense the whole night, although while we were on the floor, he bumped into my about three times, which i didn't mind at all, and he seemed very apologetic, sorry he bumped into me. polite. strange guy. probably very nice.
Rehab is a pretty kick ass band. this is the second time i've seen them live, i don't think i want to see them live again. either that or i want to see them live with a crowd that gets them pumped up enough to give it their all. i think they were bored, and i can understand that. if the crowd doesn't give any energy to the band, they are vampires, and the band is flat. the band needs something to feed off of. i can't blame the band, i blame the crowd on this one. i think they still put on a solid good show, and i still think the are a great band.
then there were two brokeback cowboys and their "girlfriends." the girls sat behind the guys rubbing their necks and shoulders, and the guys sat next to each other. i assume they were giving each other handjobs, not quite sure. i would be sitting next to my girlfriend, not some dude. strange.
woke up tired today, but it was such a beautiful day. got on the mountain bike and hit the trails. i meant to only ride a short bit, maybe an hour and half, and i ended up riding about three hours, it felt GREAT. saw some tourists who needed some guidance, so i rode with them and showed them some trails, and they were super fun and happy. turns out our trails are a bit difficult, and i'm actually a really strong good rider. they had minor problems on things i didn't even think about. but we all had fun and that is all that matters in cycling. the weather was great, my legs were strong, i flowed like a river, it was just all around joyful and glorious.
so the last few days i'd been in a bit of a funk, then today i went and rode my bike and suddenly life is the greatest ever. hmm....perhaps i just need to keep riding my bike.
bicycles make great things happen. i love my bicycle. and my girlfriend, who got her hair cut super short today, and later tonight i'm gonna go see it. yay.
now i should probably take a shower. and eat something.
saw Rehab last night, i kinda feel bad, it was not a packed house, and the venue is small. very small crowd, and kinda lame crowd, which is no fun for the band. i'm so thankful they came to play though, and they put on a great show. part of the fun was watching the strange crowd, good god there are some characters living in this fucked up little town. one guy, who we called "flannel shirt" had eyes of someone who has murdered and raped children, sunken, sullen, and wild. we were sure while others went out for a smoke break, he went out for a murder break. we pictured him saying things like "i killed a man in reno just to watch him die. then i killed another one, just to hone my craft!" kid couldn't have been more than 25, and his strangely shaped girlfriend who we dubbed "floppy boobies" was dancing all over, and at one point he was sitting there and it looked like he commanded and yelled at her to go and dance on the fucking dance floor! it was odd. he was intense the whole night, although while we were on the floor, he bumped into my about three times, which i didn't mind at all, and he seemed very apologetic, sorry he bumped into me. polite. strange guy. probably very nice.
Rehab is a pretty kick ass band. this is the second time i've seen them live, i don't think i want to see them live again. either that or i want to see them live with a crowd that gets them pumped up enough to give it their all. i think they were bored, and i can understand that. if the crowd doesn't give any energy to the band, they are vampires, and the band is flat. the band needs something to feed off of. i can't blame the band, i blame the crowd on this one. i think they still put on a solid good show, and i still think the are a great band.
then there were two brokeback cowboys and their "girlfriends." the girls sat behind the guys rubbing their necks and shoulders, and the guys sat next to each other. i assume they were giving each other handjobs, not quite sure. i would be sitting next to my girlfriend, not some dude. strange.
woke up tired today, but it was such a beautiful day. got on the mountain bike and hit the trails. i meant to only ride a short bit, maybe an hour and half, and i ended up riding about three hours, it felt GREAT. saw some tourists who needed some guidance, so i rode with them and showed them some trails, and they were super fun and happy. turns out our trails are a bit difficult, and i'm actually a really strong good rider. they had minor problems on things i didn't even think about. but we all had fun and that is all that matters in cycling. the weather was great, my legs were strong, i flowed like a river, it was just all around joyful and glorious.
so the last few days i'd been in a bit of a funk, then today i went and rode my bike and suddenly life is the greatest ever. hmm....perhaps i just need to keep riding my bike.
bicycles make great things happen. i love my bicycle. and my girlfriend, who got her hair cut super short today, and later tonight i'm gonna go see it. yay.
now i should probably take a shower. and eat something.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
old people smell bad
holy crap what kick ass day, you would never believe it.
i had just finished my mayonaise flavored slimfast shake and two diet cigarettes (yes, i am on a health kick) when i got a knock on the door. it was the guy from down the street. i could tell he had just finished working out cause his eyelids, which are more muscular than your average joe's, had a light sheen of sweat and were still ripped and pumped. he needed help.
see, i am like the encyclopedia brown of my neighborhood, people come to me to help them with thier problems like i'm scooby fucking doo, but i can't say no to them, i'm just not that kind of guy.
so this guy needed my help. now, usually when a guy comes to me for help, it's either to help them defend themself against an angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches, or they are being scared off thier land by what appears to be some kind of ghost, or other odd jobs that only i, with my varied and rare talents, am able to handle. one time, this dude asked me if i would be a "present" for his adopted asian twins on thier 21's birthday, which sounded like a sweet gig. turns out they were brothers, so that wasn't really a high moment for me, but a job's a job, heh?
well, this guy needed me to recover some "personal property" of his, and i do honor my clients privacy, so i won't go into details, but let me say this...knowing i am an expert in colonial furniture *AND* a master of the pan flute, it's no surprise he came to me. he dropped the 35 cents in my jar (my going rate) and i was on the case.
no sooner had i stepped outside my secretly fortified clubhouse/home/rented out garage and turned the corner when*WACK* i was run over by what felt like dumptruck on cocaine. after a few dazed seconds that anyone at burning man would have been fond of, i heard a voice...a voice of an angel. "how's your head?" it inquired of me. i looked up and saw a beautiful brunette lass, about my height, with shoulder length hair and cerulean eyes and a cute accent. "well," i said in my coolest voice, " i haven't had any complaints yet...are you free for lunch?"
as she helped me to me feet, she introduced herself as Monica Crumbcake, and it was her kangaroo that ran me over. she was from australia, and said things like "g'day" , "no worries" and "crikey" and kept offering me "vegemite" and asking if i heard the latest midnight oil cd, cause those are sterotypical things an australian might say in a movie by someone who doesn't know crap about australians, and that is how i am going to write this story so don't get all upset with me cause you don't really talk like that (i'm talking to you, australians).
monica explained that it was important we get the kangaroo back because this roo was actually hundreds of years old and is very special. this roo has a microchip implanted in it's tail, and on that chip is a map to a hidden temple where they keep "the book of all knowledge" which is a huge book of the true history of this world and has all the answers to all the secrets of the universe, including what the hell is *really* in an orange julius and where the white goes when the snow melts. the reason that kangaroo has it is every few hundreds of years, the microchip (yes, the microchip is thousands of years old, i mean, it was made by the creator(s) of the universe, if they can make a universe, they can make a damn microchip. duh!) it is transferred to a special animal, always different, who keeps it for a few hundred years, along with one human who has to guard the animal. it exists hidden until mankind can get thier shit together and prove that they can handle the truth about everything.
so we track down the kangaroo and monica was so happy and impressed with me, she invited me up to her apartment and we had crazy sex, right there in front of the kangaroo, which was cool cause i've never done it with a hot looking 300 year old chick from australia while her kangaroo watched.
but anyway, after all that crap happened, i finally got the complete star wars set on dvd, so it turned out to be an awesome day. KICK ASS!
i had just finished my mayonaise flavored slimfast shake and two diet cigarettes (yes, i am on a health kick) when i got a knock on the door. it was the guy from down the street. i could tell he had just finished working out cause his eyelids, which are more muscular than your average joe's, had a light sheen of sweat and were still ripped and pumped. he needed help.
see, i am like the encyclopedia brown of my neighborhood, people come to me to help them with thier problems like i'm scooby fucking doo, but i can't say no to them, i'm just not that kind of guy.
so this guy needed my help. now, usually when a guy comes to me for help, it's either to help them defend themself against an angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches, or they are being scared off thier land by what appears to be some kind of ghost, or other odd jobs that only i, with my varied and rare talents, am able to handle. one time, this dude asked me if i would be a "present" for his adopted asian twins on thier 21's birthday, which sounded like a sweet gig. turns out they were brothers, so that wasn't really a high moment for me, but a job's a job, heh?
well, this guy needed me to recover some "personal property" of his, and i do honor my clients privacy, so i won't go into details, but let me say this...knowing i am an expert in colonial furniture *AND* a master of the pan flute, it's no surprise he came to me. he dropped the 35 cents in my jar (my going rate) and i was on the case.
no sooner had i stepped outside my secretly fortified clubhouse/home/rented out garage and turned the corner when*WACK* i was run over by what felt like dumptruck on cocaine. after a few dazed seconds that anyone at burning man would have been fond of, i heard a voice...a voice of an angel. "how's your head?" it inquired of me. i looked up and saw a beautiful brunette lass, about my height, with shoulder length hair and cerulean eyes and a cute accent. "well," i said in my coolest voice, " i haven't had any complaints yet...are you free for lunch?"
as she helped me to me feet, she introduced herself as Monica Crumbcake, and it was her kangaroo that ran me over. she was from australia, and said things like "g'day" , "no worries" and "crikey" and kept offering me "vegemite" and asking if i heard the latest midnight oil cd, cause those are sterotypical things an australian might say in a movie by someone who doesn't know crap about australians, and that is how i am going to write this story so don't get all upset with me cause you don't really talk like that (i'm talking to you, australians).
monica explained that it was important we get the kangaroo back because this roo was actually hundreds of years old and is very special. this roo has a microchip implanted in it's tail, and on that chip is a map to a hidden temple where they keep "the book of all knowledge" which is a huge book of the true history of this world and has all the answers to all the secrets of the universe, including what the hell is *really* in an orange julius and where the white goes when the snow melts. the reason that kangaroo has it is every few hundreds of years, the microchip (yes, the microchip is thousands of years old, i mean, it was made by the creator(s) of the universe, if they can make a universe, they can make a damn microchip. duh!) it is transferred to a special animal, always different, who keeps it for a few hundred years, along with one human who has to guard the animal. it exists hidden until mankind can get thier shit together and prove that they can handle the truth about everything.
so we track down the kangaroo and monica was so happy and impressed with me, she invited me up to her apartment and we had crazy sex, right there in front of the kangaroo, which was cool cause i've never done it with a hot looking 300 year old chick from australia while her kangaroo watched.
but anyway, after all that crap happened, i finally got the complete star wars set on dvd, so it turned out to be an awesome day. KICK ASS!
Monday, September 17, 2012
i'm not smoking crack tonight. well, just one hit....
it's 2009 hours, monday night, the internet is little more than crack...a total time waster, fucks with your mind, makes you insane and accomplishes nothing. tonight i'm not even turning on my computer or surfing the net, except of course just to write in this blog, and maybe just do a quick cursory check of some sites, perhaps play a quick game or two of online chess....yeah, no internet, just this....yeah...
i have a strange rash on my left armpit. i don't' know what it is, have no idea how i could have gotten it. i hope it's serious, it's probably not. how the hell would i get athletes foot in my armpit? i haven't been using soap or shampoo for the last week and a half, not sure if that has something to do with it....
my hair is fine, my skin isn't bad, and i don't smell....but still...
the hornets who were living in the light fixture outside my front door seem to have moved. i'm glad i didn't kill them.
didn't go to the gym this morning, so after work i made sure i went to the gym. not only did i work out, my friend who is sexy and cool was there, a total surprise because she doesn't work out in the evenings and neither do i, but for some reason we both were working out at the same time. she is sexy and cool, and she likes me and we could be a thing, however, i am madly and deeply and totally in love with my girlfriend, who is sexy and cool and awesome and funny and fun and loves me so i'm not really missing out on anything. it's nice to know an attractive woman who isn't your girlfriend likes you though, so i got that going for me.
the money situation this month sucks monkey balls. got my check with a bonus, which would have been awesome, except i had to pay taxes which was about $50 more than the whole check, plus there have already been car expenses and other extra shit i wasn't really prepared to pay, oh and i still have more bills to pay tomorrow, so this month wasn't awesome for me on the financial side of it all.
so, other than a mystery rash and spending waaaay too much money and it's not even the end of the month and being short fat hairy and weak and stupid, life is pretty great.
i am seriously, after hitting publish on this piece of crap, shutting off the computer and reading and maybe studying chess. i've been slowly getting back into studying chess, going through games, trying to understand the reasons behind the moves, seeing the beauty of the games.
i need to exercise my mind, perhaps a night without internet will help me sleep better and think better and be more creative.
ok, onward to mayhem.
i have a strange rash on my left armpit. i don't' know what it is, have no idea how i could have gotten it. i hope it's serious, it's probably not. how the hell would i get athletes foot in my armpit? i haven't been using soap or shampoo for the last week and a half, not sure if that has something to do with it....
my hair is fine, my skin isn't bad, and i don't smell....but still...
the hornets who were living in the light fixture outside my front door seem to have moved. i'm glad i didn't kill them.
didn't go to the gym this morning, so after work i made sure i went to the gym. not only did i work out, my friend who is sexy and cool was there, a total surprise because she doesn't work out in the evenings and neither do i, but for some reason we both were working out at the same time. she is sexy and cool, and she likes me and we could be a thing, however, i am madly and deeply and totally in love with my girlfriend, who is sexy and cool and awesome and funny and fun and loves me so i'm not really missing out on anything. it's nice to know an attractive woman who isn't your girlfriend likes you though, so i got that going for me.
the money situation this month sucks monkey balls. got my check with a bonus, which would have been awesome, except i had to pay taxes which was about $50 more than the whole check, plus there have already been car expenses and other extra shit i wasn't really prepared to pay, oh and i still have more bills to pay tomorrow, so this month wasn't awesome for me on the financial side of it all.
so, other than a mystery rash and spending waaaay too much money and it's not even the end of the month and being short fat hairy and weak and stupid, life is pretty great.
i am seriously, after hitting publish on this piece of crap, shutting off the computer and reading and maybe studying chess. i've been slowly getting back into studying chess, going through games, trying to understand the reasons behind the moves, seeing the beauty of the games.
i need to exercise my mind, perhaps a night without internet will help me sleep better and think better and be more creative.
ok, onward to mayhem.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
sunday sick of it all
it's sunday evening, had a pretty good day, a great time playing bike polo, overall, things aren't too bad.
that said...i'm about sick of the human race, i feel like an alien on my own planet, humans mostly are stupid and suck. these little people with little lives, rats in a cage hurrying to get nowhere, unhappy maladjusted morons who just want to take out frustrations on others because they don't know how to cope and think that is just what you do.
i'm sorry you are poor, i'm sorry you are stupid, i'm sorry your life isn't what you think it should be. actually, i'm not, and even if i were, it wouldn't make you any nicer or feel better. you are pathetic and think your life should be "better" when the reason you are unhappy is you. not anyone else but you.
you are the reason your life sucks, you are the reason you are unhappy.
fuck you, i hope you die soon and put yourself out of your misery.
we seriously need a cleansing in the whole gene pool, we need a thinning of the herd. people need to know what a truly difficult life is. i think one of the largest problems is most humans don't have anything real to worry about, there aren't predators, there isn't a lack of food (they might be poor and starving, but there is plenty of food around and they see it, it's not like a whole group of people wandering wastelands searching for sustenance). there isn't a survival situation going on, they don't have life or death to worry about, so they think the minor inconvenience or the fact that they don't have all the luxuries others have is a big deal and worthy of being a douchebag.
people need to know what it's like to really truly have to survive, and then they would be happy with what they have, they would be thankful and nicer to others.
the human race has devolved and needs to start over again.
yeah, that is pleasant. now it's time for sleep.
that said...i'm about sick of the human race, i feel like an alien on my own planet, humans mostly are stupid and suck. these little people with little lives, rats in a cage hurrying to get nowhere, unhappy maladjusted morons who just want to take out frustrations on others because they don't know how to cope and think that is just what you do.
i'm sorry you are poor, i'm sorry you are stupid, i'm sorry your life isn't what you think it should be. actually, i'm not, and even if i were, it wouldn't make you any nicer or feel better. you are pathetic and think your life should be "better" when the reason you are unhappy is you. not anyone else but you.
you are the reason your life sucks, you are the reason you are unhappy.
fuck you, i hope you die soon and put yourself out of your misery.
we seriously need a cleansing in the whole gene pool, we need a thinning of the herd. people need to know what a truly difficult life is. i think one of the largest problems is most humans don't have anything real to worry about, there aren't predators, there isn't a lack of food (they might be poor and starving, but there is plenty of food around and they see it, it's not like a whole group of people wandering wastelands searching for sustenance). there isn't a survival situation going on, they don't have life or death to worry about, so they think the minor inconvenience or the fact that they don't have all the luxuries others have is a big deal and worthy of being a douchebag.
people need to know what it's like to really truly have to survive, and then they would be happy with what they have, they would be thankful and nicer to others.
the human race has devolved and needs to start over again.
yeah, that is pleasant. now it's time for sleep.
quiche recipe for teens
the following is an excerpt from "you don't need your parents, they are annoying idiots: a cookbook for teens" ....
prehat the oven to 350 degrees. it sucks that you have to do this now because it takes so damn long to heat up. god, you could be doing something way better right now....anyway....
chop up and fry some onions in butter or olive oil until they are soft and see through (like that jerks who lie to you all the time), then put them aside, ignore them, the way your parents ignore your needs. they don't listen or understand anyway.
beat four eggs like you would beat your damn teacher who always gets on your case and plays favorites with the "popular" kids. add one cup of milk, or half and half, either way it doesn't matter. nothing matters. mix into the eggs with hate and rage and salt and pepper, and other herbs if you want to like dill (haha, dill weed! or basil...fuck, put what you want in there).
get some cheese, chedder or mozzerrella. shred it like your boyfriend/girlfriend shredded your heart by dumping you and being a total prick/bitch. remember the onions? (at least you didnt forget them like your parents forgot your birthday that one time. GOD!) check to make sure they are cold like the heartless fuck who dumped you (you don't want them cooking the egg and fucking everything up like all the idiots in your life you fuck up everything). add the onions and the cheese to the egg/milk and stir it around, mix it up like a mosh pit, yeah!
pour the mixture into a ready made pie crust that you buy in the frozen food section because you are a slave to the corporate overlords who don't give a fuck about the little man and would sell their grandmother for a science experiment to make a quick buck. fuck them! but get the pie crust first.
if you want to add things like mushrooms, bean sprouts, spinach, other cheeses, go ahead, do whatever the fuck you feel like...you know what you like and don't have to listen to anyone tell you how to make your quiche...whatever....
bake the whole damn thing for one hour while you chat on the internet with your friends or download some music or put songs on your ipod. do what you feel like, the world is unfair anyway....
it's ready. eat it, or don't. whatever.
prehat the oven to 350 degrees. it sucks that you have to do this now because it takes so damn long to heat up. god, you could be doing something way better right now....anyway....
chop up and fry some onions in butter or olive oil until they are soft and see through (like that jerks who lie to you all the time), then put them aside, ignore them, the way your parents ignore your needs. they don't listen or understand anyway.
beat four eggs like you would beat your damn teacher who always gets on your case and plays favorites with the "popular" kids. add one cup of milk, or half and half, either way it doesn't matter. nothing matters. mix into the eggs with hate and rage and salt and pepper, and other herbs if you want to like dill (haha, dill weed! or basil...fuck, put what you want in there).
get some cheese, chedder or mozzerrella. shred it like your boyfriend/girlfriend shredded your heart by dumping you and being a total prick/bitch. remember the onions? (at least you didnt forget them like your parents forgot your birthday that one time. GOD!) check to make sure they are cold like the heartless fuck who dumped you (you don't want them cooking the egg and fucking everything up like all the idiots in your life you fuck up everything). add the onions and the cheese to the egg/milk and stir it around, mix it up like a mosh pit, yeah!
pour the mixture into a ready made pie crust that you buy in the frozen food section because you are a slave to the corporate overlords who don't give a fuck about the little man and would sell their grandmother for a science experiment to make a quick buck. fuck them! but get the pie crust first.
if you want to add things like mushrooms, bean sprouts, spinach, other cheeses, go ahead, do whatever the fuck you feel like...you know what you like and don't have to listen to anyone tell you how to make your quiche...whatever....
bake the whole damn thing for one hour while you chat on the internet with your friends or download some music or put songs on your ipod. do what you feel like, the world is unfair anyway....
it's ready. eat it, or don't. whatever.
Friday, September 14, 2012
post 100: my epic adventure
it's 1750 hours, friday evening, listening to the "hunky dory" album by David Bowie, we returned from mountain climbing, this is my 100th post, i'm not quite drunk, i will be by the end of this though, probably.
so...K says "hey, let's go camping." i see her suggestion and raise her with "hey, lets climb a 14er." i decide on an "easy" one, we just have to walk up it. no gear, no ropes, everyone does it. she agrees and it's on.
it begins with quickly and badly packing, and a half assed plan, hastily and sloppily writing directions, and we go. "where will we camp?" she asked. "eh, we'll find something" i assured her. we drive on down to Ouray, i have a vague place in mind, we end up at a KOA. what the fuck??? it costs $32.50 to put up a tent. you gotta be fucking kidding me. oh well, ok, we do have nice facilities, so we set up camp. i have "camping food," ramen and cereal bars, but we say "lets get hot dogs and wine!" so we go to town. get a tasty bottle of red and ask where we can buy groceries. turns out, the one and only grocery store in Ouray closes at 6 pm, but there is a liquor/convenience store just up the street.
we go in, no hot dogs. they have lunch meat and bacon, no hot dogs. call the KOA store and see if they have hot dogs, alas, no, only lunch meat and bacon. WHAT THE FUCK??? we are at the epicenter of the great hot dog drought of 2012. it's like a bad joke, no hotdogs, only lunch meat and bacon .
we drive to Ridgeway, the next town over, stop in a convenience store, lunch meat and bacon, no hot dogs. go to the family dollar, same story. this is now a mission. Norwegians will compose great epic saga poems about our quest to find hot dogs and years from now, these saga poems will be passed on orally and through song.
we finally find a grocery store and get hot dogs and a can of chili.
back at camp we make and eat chili dogs and wash them down with wine. we are ready to tackle a 14,000 foot mountain.
next day we wake up, drive to where our mountain climbing base is, and embark. but first, we each make a stop in the most vile outhouse ever. this is seriously a portal to hell itself. sitting there my eyes were watering and burning, and i almost vomited twice. i had to fight to not vomit. it was absolutely horrible.
we start walking, and come to a little lake, which i vaguely remember. looks like the trail goes to the left, so we climb, and it's rocky and arduous and there is barely a trace of trail. i explain it's like this all the way to the top, from what i remember quickly reading the directions of the climb. we climb for about 15 minutes and stop to rest, look around, and see what looks like a trail on the mountain across from us. yup, we are on the wrong mountain.
we climb down, walk all the way over the other mountain, and start to climb. it gets rocky and arduous but there are people coming down the mountain and going up, so yeah, we are on the right mountain. we make it most of the way up, scrabbling, clutching to the side of the mountain. without trekking poles, we can't really get up the scree, we go up the boulders and boulder our way up, but we are tired, and it turns out, we don't much like heights, and it gets super steep. there will be crying and cursing soon, especially if i suggest we push on further. tired and slightly hypoxic, we both decide it's best to just say fuck it and go back down to our car and finish the bottle of wine.
we do that. at the car, we are sunburnt, tired, but happy and laughing. we both had a kick ass time every moment of the trip. it was awesome and we laughed and joked and got some kick ass pictures. it was beautiful, the weather was spectacular, the views were spectacular, we will probably try it again next year, with trekking poles.
it's nice to be home. my legs are tired, i have to work tomorrow, i had a great few days off. life is good.
now i shall proceed to get drunk. tomorrow i again begin the "weight loss get healthy and fit" routine.
so...K says "hey, let's go camping." i see her suggestion and raise her with "hey, lets climb a 14er." i decide on an "easy" one, we just have to walk up it. no gear, no ropes, everyone does it. she agrees and it's on.
it begins with quickly and badly packing, and a half assed plan, hastily and sloppily writing directions, and we go. "where will we camp?" she asked. "eh, we'll find something" i assured her. we drive on down to Ouray, i have a vague place in mind, we end up at a KOA. what the fuck??? it costs $32.50 to put up a tent. you gotta be fucking kidding me. oh well, ok, we do have nice facilities, so we set up camp. i have "camping food," ramen and cereal bars, but we say "lets get hot dogs and wine!" so we go to town. get a tasty bottle of red and ask where we can buy groceries. turns out, the one and only grocery store in Ouray closes at 6 pm, but there is a liquor/convenience store just up the street.
we go in, no hot dogs. they have lunch meat and bacon, no hot dogs. call the KOA store and see if they have hot dogs, alas, no, only lunch meat and bacon. WHAT THE FUCK??? we are at the epicenter of the great hot dog drought of 2012. it's like a bad joke, no hotdogs, only lunch meat and bacon .
we drive to Ridgeway, the next town over, stop in a convenience store, lunch meat and bacon, no hot dogs. go to the family dollar, same story. this is now a mission. Norwegians will compose great epic saga poems about our quest to find hot dogs and years from now, these saga poems will be passed on orally and through song.
we finally find a grocery store and get hot dogs and a can of chili.
back at camp we make and eat chili dogs and wash them down with wine. we are ready to tackle a 14,000 foot mountain.
next day we wake up, drive to where our mountain climbing base is, and embark. but first, we each make a stop in the most vile outhouse ever. this is seriously a portal to hell itself. sitting there my eyes were watering and burning, and i almost vomited twice. i had to fight to not vomit. it was absolutely horrible.
we start walking, and come to a little lake, which i vaguely remember. looks like the trail goes to the left, so we climb, and it's rocky and arduous and there is barely a trace of trail. i explain it's like this all the way to the top, from what i remember quickly reading the directions of the climb. we climb for about 15 minutes and stop to rest, look around, and see what looks like a trail on the mountain across from us. yup, we are on the wrong mountain.
we climb down, walk all the way over the other mountain, and start to climb. it gets rocky and arduous but there are people coming down the mountain and going up, so yeah, we are on the right mountain. we make it most of the way up, scrabbling, clutching to the side of the mountain. without trekking poles, we can't really get up the scree, we go up the boulders and boulder our way up, but we are tired, and it turns out, we don't much like heights, and it gets super steep. there will be crying and cursing soon, especially if i suggest we push on further. tired and slightly hypoxic, we both decide it's best to just say fuck it and go back down to our car and finish the bottle of wine.
we do that. at the car, we are sunburnt, tired, but happy and laughing. we both had a kick ass time every moment of the trip. it was awesome and we laughed and joked and got some kick ass pictures. it was beautiful, the weather was spectacular, the views were spectacular, we will probably try it again next year, with trekking poles.
it's nice to be home. my legs are tired, i have to work tomorrow, i had a great few days off. life is good.
now i shall proceed to get drunk. tomorrow i again begin the "weight loss get healthy and fit" routine.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
woden's day morning
old jewish men make the worst ninjas. it's dark and quiet and all you hear is "oohmph, ugh, oy, grnnh." seriously, they suck at it.
it's 1110 in the afternoon, wednesday, didn't write last night, don't care.
had a decent day at work, came home to tasty pork tenderloin with awesome tomatillo salsa and fresh baked brioche. it wasn't a real true brioche, which requires about 2 pounds of butter, it was a bit more cakey, not as flaky, but still pretty damn delicious.
today we are supposed to go camping and walk up a 14er. Zero amount has been planned and prepared, so it should be a mighty fun adventure. we are gonna do some errands, quickly land half assedly pack, drive and start. i figure tonight we drive and make camp, tomorrow we wake up and try to walk up a mountain, and then, we play it by ear. yeah, this should go pretty well.
i have the next three days off, so that is pretty sweet. this is gonna be a busy month, and a somewhat expensive month. i just want to save money to make house improvements, but it seems each month any money i could save has to go to car repairs, taxes, or some other unforeseen expense. i am seriously thinking of getting a temporary second job just to make the extra cash to do what i want with the house. i wanna turn this chicken coop into a real no shit nice comfy home.
ok, time to get out there and make things happen. it's gonna be a fun filled exciting three days.
onward to mayhem!
it's 1110 in the afternoon, wednesday, didn't write last night, don't care.
had a decent day at work, came home to tasty pork tenderloin with awesome tomatillo salsa and fresh baked brioche. it wasn't a real true brioche, which requires about 2 pounds of butter, it was a bit more cakey, not as flaky, but still pretty damn delicious.
today we are supposed to go camping and walk up a 14er. Zero amount has been planned and prepared, so it should be a mighty fun adventure. we are gonna do some errands, quickly land half assedly pack, drive and start. i figure tonight we drive and make camp, tomorrow we wake up and try to walk up a mountain, and then, we play it by ear. yeah, this should go pretty well.
i have the next three days off, so that is pretty sweet. this is gonna be a busy month, and a somewhat expensive month. i just want to save money to make house improvements, but it seems each month any money i could save has to go to car repairs, taxes, or some other unforeseen expense. i am seriously thinking of getting a temporary second job just to make the extra cash to do what i want with the house. i wanna turn this chicken coop into a real no shit nice comfy home.
ok, time to get out there and make things happen. it's gonna be a fun filled exciting three days.
onward to mayhem!
Monday, September 10, 2012
tired but better
monday night, 2103 hours pm in the evening, today wasn't too bad at all.
it was busy. a bunch of folks from new york came, they were very very nice and cool, and also very very high maintenance. after them it was non-stop all day. we did get a free pear pie today, which i ate a bunch of. no wonder i'm so fat.
didn't go to the gym today, i suck. i was sooo tired, just worn the fuck out. i may or may not go tomorrow. then wednesday we are going to go camping, and walk up a 14er. i'm sort of looking forward to that, we should have a pretty good time.
not really much to say, not too much going on in my mind, my mind is sort of quiet. haven't had too much stimulus to come up with anything.
another short bit of writing, but at least this time i'm in a much much much better mood.
i am still not using soap or shampoo in the shower, just water. so i have that experiment going. so far i'm not too disgusting. i shall do this until the last day of the month to see how it plays out.
now i snooze.
it was busy. a bunch of folks from new york came, they were very very nice and cool, and also very very high maintenance. after them it was non-stop all day. we did get a free pear pie today, which i ate a bunch of. no wonder i'm so fat.
didn't go to the gym today, i suck. i was sooo tired, just worn the fuck out. i may or may not go tomorrow. then wednesday we are going to go camping, and walk up a 14er. i'm sort of looking forward to that, we should have a pretty good time.
not really much to say, not too much going on in my mind, my mind is sort of quiet. haven't had too much stimulus to come up with anything.
another short bit of writing, but at least this time i'm in a much much much better mood.
i am still not using soap or shampoo in the shower, just water. so i have that experiment going. so far i'm not too disgusting. i shall do this until the last day of the month to see how it plays out.
now i snooze.
Sunday, September 09, 2012
illiterate douchebags and the evil eye
it's sunday night, i'm tired, i'm bruised, i'm pretty sick of people on the internet.
i'm so angry and bothered by idiots right now, i don't even feel like writing. i'm just gonna get drunk and sulk and pass out.
i'm seriously fed up with morons. and there are more fucktards than not. i don't want to live on this planet anymore.
i'm so angry and bothered by idiots right now, i don't even feel like writing. i'm just gonna get drunk and sulk and pass out.
i'm seriously fed up with morons. and there are more fucktards than not. i don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Saturday, September 08, 2012
i want the words"Leviticus 19:28" tattooed on my arm
it's saturday, 2130 hours, had a pretty sweet day.
yesterday we went for an after work ride, weather was spectacular, i love love love my bike. i climbed up some stuff i hadn't cleaned before, must have been all that road riding that made my legs strong, and coming down the mountain i felt flowy and smooth, like a river, and fast, and i felt like i was in my own kick ass video. it was a pretty sweet ass ride.
i also cooked a buch, made some tomato bisque with fresh tomatoes from some farmers garden that Drew gave me, also made chocolate chip bacon cookies, which pretty much kicked ass. regular chocolate chip recipe that you find on the back of a pack of bittersweet chocolate chips, but instead of two sticks of butter, one stick of butter and one half cup of bacon grease. of course we had to fry up a bunch of bacon to get the grease, so there was also a bunch of bacon, which goes great on buttered bread as well as just eating it. mmmmm, bacon. i don't care how trite or cliche it is, bacon is fucking awesome and tasty and one of the best things ever. another great reason to get kicked out of the garden of eden. there was no bacon tree, how could it have been paradise?
so, that was yesterday.....today i went to work, it was slow, there were a bunch of crazy weird people in, but also some decent and fun customers. overall a pretty good day. i ate waaaaay too much meat, honestly. i need to go a day or two eating nothing but vegetables. seriously.
came home from work and there was dinner waiting for me, that pretty much rocked. i'm a lucky guy.
i have been dabbling in the realm of discount cheese. i can't always tell if the cheese is supposed to taste like that, or if it's bad and that is why it's discounted. either way, it's an adventure, and a glass of wine helps immensely.
as for my no drinking month....oh well. last night i had a shot or two of vodka, and tonight i had a glass of red. the thing is, i'm not taking in a huge bunch of alcohol calories, and i don't' think i'm putting too much strain on my system. i know i should drink nothing but water to help lose weight and fix myself, but having one glass of wine is better than having one bottle of wine. so i got that going for me.
my new crazy thing i'm doing is....for the rest of the month, i am not using any soap or shampoo in the shower. only water. i am only washing myself with water. apparently our bodies will regulate themselves and soap and shampoo just fuck up the regulation, they are apparently completely unnecessary, and do more harm than good. i've heard it from some people, and read it on some blogs. well, the only way to verify is to try it myself, and i have nothing better to do with my time, so....
the cool thing is...if it really works, not only will i save a bunch of cash by not having to buy soap and shampoo, but also it's a cool conspiracy that i can actually get behind. and i love a good conspiracy. it will also be pretty neat if my skin feels better and my hair looks and feels better. supposedly it is healthier to not use soap or shampoo, and i can see that. even "all natural organic" soap and shampoo are extra chemicals that aren't natural to our body. i will write more on this as i progress.
if i prove something, if i prove shampoo and soap are not unnecessary and are just a way to keep us needing more and more skin and hair products, if i prove it's a conspiracy by the chemical companies, is it still a conspiracy? i'll have to check on that.
right now i think i shall retire to the boudoir and read a bit and then fall asleep. i'm tired. my legs are a bit sore as well, i think they need a rest. tomorrow is bike polo, so that should be a good time.
now i snooze.
yesterday we went for an after work ride, weather was spectacular, i love love love my bike. i climbed up some stuff i hadn't cleaned before, must have been all that road riding that made my legs strong, and coming down the mountain i felt flowy and smooth, like a river, and fast, and i felt like i was in my own kick ass video. it was a pretty sweet ass ride.
i also cooked a buch, made some tomato bisque with fresh tomatoes from some farmers garden that Drew gave me, also made chocolate chip bacon cookies, which pretty much kicked ass. regular chocolate chip recipe that you find on the back of a pack of bittersweet chocolate chips, but instead of two sticks of butter, one stick of butter and one half cup of bacon grease. of course we had to fry up a bunch of bacon to get the grease, so there was also a bunch of bacon, which goes great on buttered bread as well as just eating it. mmmmm, bacon. i don't care how trite or cliche it is, bacon is fucking awesome and tasty and one of the best things ever. another great reason to get kicked out of the garden of eden. there was no bacon tree, how could it have been paradise?
so, that was yesterday.....today i went to work, it was slow, there were a bunch of crazy weird people in, but also some decent and fun customers. overall a pretty good day. i ate waaaaay too much meat, honestly. i need to go a day or two eating nothing but vegetables. seriously.
came home from work and there was dinner waiting for me, that pretty much rocked. i'm a lucky guy.
i have been dabbling in the realm of discount cheese. i can't always tell if the cheese is supposed to taste like that, or if it's bad and that is why it's discounted. either way, it's an adventure, and a glass of wine helps immensely.
as for my no drinking month....oh well. last night i had a shot or two of vodka, and tonight i had a glass of red. the thing is, i'm not taking in a huge bunch of alcohol calories, and i don't' think i'm putting too much strain on my system. i know i should drink nothing but water to help lose weight and fix myself, but having one glass of wine is better than having one bottle of wine. so i got that going for me.
my new crazy thing i'm doing is....for the rest of the month, i am not using any soap or shampoo in the shower. only water. i am only washing myself with water. apparently our bodies will regulate themselves and soap and shampoo just fuck up the regulation, they are apparently completely unnecessary, and do more harm than good. i've heard it from some people, and read it on some blogs. well, the only way to verify is to try it myself, and i have nothing better to do with my time, so....
the cool thing is...if it really works, not only will i save a bunch of cash by not having to buy soap and shampoo, but also it's a cool conspiracy that i can actually get behind. and i love a good conspiracy. it will also be pretty neat if my skin feels better and my hair looks and feels better. supposedly it is healthier to not use soap or shampoo, and i can see that. even "all natural organic" soap and shampoo are extra chemicals that aren't natural to our body. i will write more on this as i progress.
if i prove something, if i prove shampoo and soap are not unnecessary and are just a way to keep us needing more and more skin and hair products, if i prove it's a conspiracy by the chemical companies, is it still a conspiracy? i'll have to check on that.
right now i think i shall retire to the boudoir and read a bit and then fall asleep. i'm tired. my legs are a bit sore as well, i think they need a rest. tomorrow is bike polo, so that should be a good time.
now i snooze.
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