its 1818 hours evening in the pm, i'm listening to the black keys.
do commandos wear underwear? if they do, do they call it "going civilian?"
friday, today, is my sunday. tomorrow i work, i am back on saturdays, four days a week, i am kinda happy about that. it keeps me busy, adds some cash to the bank account, and i like the saturday crew. i look forward to it.
had a great ride yesterday, and last evening went on the junk ride, a fun amble through town. afterwards, we went to a snazzy joint for tapas and i chatted up the guy next to me, he was from out of town. guy ended up buying our dinner. he didn't have to, we were super appreciative and taken aback. it was cool, very very cool.
lately i've been feeling tired, quite understandable, been riding and working out and such. woke up this morning, i didn't go to the gym. i'm good with that. at first i felt guilty, i feel kinda like a pussy, but i don't want to get overtired, then get sick, then be out for much longer than i want to be. so i didn't go to the gym. there is that. monday i intend on going back with a vengeance and lifting harder. i wonder if my extra day off will allow me to get stronger?
there was green chilies on sale, so i got them and roasted them up and made a tasty green chili corn chowder. it's super tasty, and will make a great lunch tomorrow.
i need to quit fucking around on the internet and sit down and read dammit. i have books i want to finish, and i don't like not reading as much as i used to.
blah, i'm rambling, my thoughts are all over. i mowed the lawn today, which i despise. i dont' mow my lawn for me, i could give a damn, i do it because others have a different sense of aesthetic than i do. if they are so concerned with how my lawn looks, why the fuck don't they mow it? that is what is so shitty about it. i'm doing extra work i don't want to do because people i don't even know make me. fuck mowing lawns, seriously.
i am really rambling now. i need to stop, shut off the computer, and read a book.
tomorrow i work. yay. i am looking forward to next month. i plan on using next month to better myself. i plan on not drinking any alcohol and overall losing five pounds for the month of september. i also plan on writing here every day. we shall see how that all goes.
onward to mayhem!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
hot monday
it's 1800 hours pm in the evening, it's like...7000 degrees out, i'm sweating like an overweight eastern european on a bangkok sex tour. today was super fucking hot.
yesterday sort of sucked a bit, work wasn't too bad, but overall i just felt beaten down. came home exhausted, went to bed, slept amazing, so i got that going for me.
woke up today and went to the gym, lifted more weight than last time. each time i go, i try to increase weight, even if only a little bit. i used to think i should do a set number of sets at the same weight, then move up each week. fuck that. each time i go to the gym, i am increasing weight, even if only for one set. and i like it. i like my new routine, i pared away the extra crap (for now) and i'm just doing basic big moves with heavy weight. eventually, when i feel like it, i will start to do other exercises and spend an hour or two indoors lifting weights because yeah, that is what i want to do with my life.
didn't ride today though, it was windy and about 800 degrees out. tomorrow me and george are gonna ride, we are going out at about 1030 because he has kid stuff he has to do, so it should be uncomfortably hot. if i start hydrating now, i should only be slightly dehydrated tomorrow and only suffer just a little.
tonight i am making citrus marinated salmon with a watercress coulis, and caponata. no they don't really go together, but i don't much give a fuck. chef thomas keller isn't going to come to my house and get all upset because i made caponata to eat along side his salmon, so i aint sweating it too much.
nothing really going on at the moment, and that isn't too bad. i sort of like it.
ok, time to blanch some watercress and get on with dinner. life aint too shabby right now.
yesterday sort of sucked a bit, work wasn't too bad, but overall i just felt beaten down. came home exhausted, went to bed, slept amazing, so i got that going for me.
woke up today and went to the gym, lifted more weight than last time. each time i go, i try to increase weight, even if only a little bit. i used to think i should do a set number of sets at the same weight, then move up each week. fuck that. each time i go to the gym, i am increasing weight, even if only for one set. and i like it. i like my new routine, i pared away the extra crap (for now) and i'm just doing basic big moves with heavy weight. eventually, when i feel like it, i will start to do other exercises and spend an hour or two indoors lifting weights because yeah, that is what i want to do with my life.
didn't ride today though, it was windy and about 800 degrees out. tomorrow me and george are gonna ride, we are going out at about 1030 because he has kid stuff he has to do, so it should be uncomfortably hot. if i start hydrating now, i should only be slightly dehydrated tomorrow and only suffer just a little.
tonight i am making citrus marinated salmon with a watercress coulis, and caponata. no they don't really go together, but i don't much give a fuck. chef thomas keller isn't going to come to my house and get all upset because i made caponata to eat along side his salmon, so i aint sweating it too much.
nothing really going on at the moment, and that isn't too bad. i sort of like it.
ok, time to blanch some watercress and get on with dinner. life aint too shabby right now.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
art is anal
sunday night, 1908 hours pm in the evening, home from work. i'm still tired, still drained from yesterday, probably still dehydrated. i think i got sunstroke or heat exhaustion. whatever. had a slow day today, but a good one. i am so tired i skipped out on bike polo tonight. plus it's waaaay too hot right now, which is also draining.
artisanal isn't a real actual word, it's artisan. artisan bread, artisan cheese, etc. people say artisanal though, all the time. i see that word as "art is anal". i want to go into a shop and ask for "art is anal bread," or "art is anal cheese". this would entertain me.
so, yesterday, a friend was leaving town to go live in another town not too far away, and we were gonna have a small going away party for her at the shop. as tired as i was yesterday after the long ride, i managed to drag my ass into a shower and ride down to the shop for the party.
got there, there was a heavy blanket of ickiness hanging over everyone, the vibe was gray and muddy and heavy. one of the guys, who is a strong cat, great fella, but kind of a high maintenance prima donna felt snubbed, wrongly so, one too many times, and sort of quit. this of course brought everyone down. the funny thing is...he is so self centered, and everything is always about him, he screams for attention all the time, and it totally was appropriate that he would make a scene and make everyone turn attention to him when it was our friend's going away party. he managed to ruin it and put a kabosh on it. he will be missed, but not as much as he might think.
ok, time for dinner, i think it will be curry chicken of some sort. then i shall snooze the snooze of the dead, i hope. tomorrow i get up early and go to the gym.
artisanal isn't a real actual word, it's artisan. artisan bread, artisan cheese, etc. people say artisanal though, all the time. i see that word as "art is anal". i want to go into a shop and ask for "art is anal bread," or "art is anal cheese". this would entertain me.
so, yesterday, a friend was leaving town to go live in another town not too far away, and we were gonna have a small going away party for her at the shop. as tired as i was yesterday after the long ride, i managed to drag my ass into a shower and ride down to the shop for the party.
got there, there was a heavy blanket of ickiness hanging over everyone, the vibe was gray and muddy and heavy. one of the guys, who is a strong cat, great fella, but kind of a high maintenance prima donna felt snubbed, wrongly so, one too many times, and sort of quit. this of course brought everyone down. the funny thing is...he is so self centered, and everything is always about him, he screams for attention all the time, and it totally was appropriate that he would make a scene and make everyone turn attention to him when it was our friend's going away party. he managed to ruin it and put a kabosh on it. he will be missed, but not as much as he might think.
ok, time for dinner, i think it will be curry chicken of some sort. then i shall snooze the snooze of the dead, i hope. tomorrow i get up early and go to the gym.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
big ride
i'm sitting here, it's 1534 hours in the afternoon, there is a light coating of salt all over my body, i look frosted, my stomach is filing complaints, my legs are having a board meeting right now to see if they want to revolt and cramp or not. just got back from a three and a half hour ride through the desert. luckily, we started at 1115 in the afternoon so we got to ride in grueling heat. good times. i feel surprisingly great, my mind is tricking me so i don't realize how fat and out of shape i am.
yesterday was a good day. didn't do too much, did start out at the gym and lifted more weight than i have before, and felt great doing it. it feels wonderful to be going back to the gym. the highlight of yesterday was dinner. i purchased some super tasty fancy schmancy artisanal bread and made some tasty caponata, and we had that with a bottle and a half of very tasty wine.
so today, after drinking way too much wine and getting a solid four hours of sleep, i embarked on a long hot ride through the desert. i'm a fucking genius,the things i think are a good idea.
still, i did have a great ride, spectacular views, tons of fun, i feel worked but in a good way. i'm looking forward to passing out in about an hour, after my shower and another twenty or so glasses of water.
yesterday was a good day. didn't do too much, did start out at the gym and lifted more weight than i have before, and felt great doing it. it feels wonderful to be going back to the gym. the highlight of yesterday was dinner. i purchased some super tasty fancy schmancy artisanal bread and made some tasty caponata, and we had that with a bottle and a half of very tasty wine.
so today, after drinking way too much wine and getting a solid four hours of sleep, i embarked on a long hot ride through the desert. i'm a fucking genius,the things i think are a good idea.
still, i did have a great ride, spectacular views, tons of fun, i feel worked but in a good way. i'm looking forward to passing out in about an hour, after my shower and another twenty or so glasses of water.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
i call my cat Stinky McPoopsalot
i think cycling can be quite philosophical, many principles and ideas of philosophy can be seen in cycling, and i think mountain biking is a fantastic metaphor for religious beliefs as well.
mountian biking, be it in north carolina, california, arizona, or in japan, seems to follow a pattern: pedal up a steep ass hill for a really really really long time, possibly stopping to puke here and there, at top ride a super sweet wonderful trail that is beautiful and thrilling and fun, and swoop down the mountain climatically on a sweet fast and fun trail. and that, to me, smacks of religion.
many group rides are on a sunday, sort of like church. you must atone and suffer, painfully climbing up that steep and rocky hill, occasionally falling, each pedal stroke a prayer asking for mercy. there is sweat and blood, you are burdened with whatever you carry on your back. but you climb and climb, heavenward, because once you make it, it is heaven. at the top is redemption, you are reborn and given a reward. the trail is effortless, you laugh and are giddy, ecstatic. the view is spectacular. you must work hard to get to a good trail, and it seems the amount of work you put into it is directly proportional to the coolness of the trail. the really spectacular special and secret trails are well hidden and take lots lots of work to get to.
sure, there are fun trails that are easily accessible, but the really really really fun stuff requires effort. nothing worth anything comes easy, and this is totally true for mountain biking. work, reward. work hard, get bigger reward. quite often, the harder you work, the better the view, and the more sweet the single track.
there is an existential side to it all. when you ride, really really ride, you are living authentically. when you are out there, pedaling, sweating, you forget about appearances, you forget about putting on airs, you are so consumed with the trail and the ride that you become, if only for a brief moment, the total you, the true you. when you are tired and hungry, possibly lost, the weather is crap, you reveal yourself, you see who you are and what you are made of. riding tends to break you down into your most simplest form. i've seen cool awesome guys lose their shit when faced with a sketchy trail, i've seen guys who i thought were not much show their true strong awesome selves.
there is a buddhist bent to it. to really really mountain bike well, you must be present, in the moment. have you ever been riding along, and suddenly BAM you are on the ground? nine times out of ten your mind was wandering to other things, you lost focus, you suddenly were thinking of something else, not the trail. being on a trail, especially a technical trail, forces you to live in the moment, again, you forget your worries, cares, who you are, what bills you have to pay, what that jerk on the forum said, and you are consumed with that moment. you and your bike moving as one. it's a special time, because everything starts to flow, you are "on" and it all comes together, you forget there is a you, all you feel is the movement through air, the trail beneath you. it's a meditation of sorts, and pretty fucking close to enlightenment, as far as i'm concerned.
there is truth, simple truth, real truth, in mountain biking. when you are out there, riding a bike, there is no faking it, no lying to yourself or others. you either climb the hill or you don't. you clean that rocky section or you don't. you can have a badass $5,000 bike, look like a pro, talk like a pro, and act like a pro, but on the trail, none of that matters. your bike doesn't matter, your clothes don't matter, your tattoo and soul patch and hemp bracelet doesn't matter. if you can't ride a bike, it shows, and all that bravado and smack talking and chest puffing is gone like rice paper in boiling water.
cycling, especially mountain biking, to me, is philosophical, bordering on religious, and is wonderful.
mountian biking, be it in north carolina, california, arizona, or in japan, seems to follow a pattern: pedal up a steep ass hill for a really really really long time, possibly stopping to puke here and there, at top ride a super sweet wonderful trail that is beautiful and thrilling and fun, and swoop down the mountain climatically on a sweet fast and fun trail. and that, to me, smacks of religion.
many group rides are on a sunday, sort of like church. you must atone and suffer, painfully climbing up that steep and rocky hill, occasionally falling, each pedal stroke a prayer asking for mercy. there is sweat and blood, you are burdened with whatever you carry on your back. but you climb and climb, heavenward, because once you make it, it is heaven. at the top is redemption, you are reborn and given a reward. the trail is effortless, you laugh and are giddy, ecstatic. the view is spectacular. you must work hard to get to a good trail, and it seems the amount of work you put into it is directly proportional to the coolness of the trail. the really spectacular special and secret trails are well hidden and take lots lots of work to get to.
sure, there are fun trails that are easily accessible, but the really really really fun stuff requires effort. nothing worth anything comes easy, and this is totally true for mountain biking. work, reward. work hard, get bigger reward. quite often, the harder you work, the better the view, and the more sweet the single track.
there is an existential side to it all. when you ride, really really ride, you are living authentically. when you are out there, pedaling, sweating, you forget about appearances, you forget about putting on airs, you are so consumed with the trail and the ride that you become, if only for a brief moment, the total you, the true you. when you are tired and hungry, possibly lost, the weather is crap, you reveal yourself, you see who you are and what you are made of. riding tends to break you down into your most simplest form. i've seen cool awesome guys lose their shit when faced with a sketchy trail, i've seen guys who i thought were not much show their true strong awesome selves.
there is a buddhist bent to it. to really really mountain bike well, you must be present, in the moment. have you ever been riding along, and suddenly BAM you are on the ground? nine times out of ten your mind was wandering to other things, you lost focus, you suddenly were thinking of something else, not the trail. being on a trail, especially a technical trail, forces you to live in the moment, again, you forget your worries, cares, who you are, what bills you have to pay, what that jerk on the forum said, and you are consumed with that moment. you and your bike moving as one. it's a special time, because everything starts to flow, you are "on" and it all comes together, you forget there is a you, all you feel is the movement through air, the trail beneath you. it's a meditation of sorts, and pretty fucking close to enlightenment, as far as i'm concerned.
there is truth, simple truth, real truth, in mountain biking. when you are out there, riding a bike, there is no faking it, no lying to yourself or others. you either climb the hill or you don't. you clean that rocky section or you don't. you can have a badass $5,000 bike, look like a pro, talk like a pro, and act like a pro, but on the trail, none of that matters. your bike doesn't matter, your clothes don't matter, your tattoo and soul patch and hemp bracelet doesn't matter. if you can't ride a bike, it shows, and all that bravado and smack talking and chest puffing is gone like rice paper in boiling water.
cycling, especially mountain biking, to me, is philosophical, bordering on religious, and is wonderful.
lets do it.
yup, i used Gary Gilmore's last words for my post title. it's sort of how i feel. i need to quit fucking around and just jump on in and do it.
was a time i used to blog every fucking day, then i stopped, then i did it again, then i stopped. well, i think i should get back to it. if not every day, at least three to four times a week.
i like it, it helps me sort out thoughts, review shit, come to terms with shit, etc.
i am going back to the gym, thanks to my girlfriend who told me about Chaos and Pain, because she and her friend are huge Tom Hardy fans, and i guess they did some googling and found the blog, and she told me about it, and it put a spark under my ass and now i'm back in the gym. it's pretty fucking awesome.
also, i've been riding a lot more, and applying the attitude of chaos and pain to the bike, which is pretty fucking rad.
i need to focus my life a bit. i was just sort of floundering, not sure why, but writing will help me in a few ways. i just need to commit and stick to it.
so...and i've said this a bazillion or two times before....i am seriously no shit gonna really start writing regularly. i let my other blog go to weeds. not sure if i will delete it or not. this one has been around forever, and it's interesting to see where it was and where it was going.
i think i will make this my main place to write.
fuck yeah. now i gotta shower, i stink from today's ride, which was pretty wonderful. only rode about 38 km, but it was sort of windy, so i had that going for me.
lots of other things on the mind, not gonna write now though. i'm happy to be doing this again, this must be a regular thing.
was a time i used to blog every fucking day, then i stopped, then i did it again, then i stopped. well, i think i should get back to it. if not every day, at least three to four times a week.
i like it, it helps me sort out thoughts, review shit, come to terms with shit, etc.
i am going back to the gym, thanks to my girlfriend who told me about Chaos and Pain, because she and her friend are huge Tom Hardy fans, and i guess they did some googling and found the blog, and she told me about it, and it put a spark under my ass and now i'm back in the gym. it's pretty fucking awesome.
also, i've been riding a lot more, and applying the attitude of chaos and pain to the bike, which is pretty fucking rad.
i need to focus my life a bit. i was just sort of floundering, not sure why, but writing will help me in a few ways. i just need to commit and stick to it.
so...and i've said this a bazillion or two times before....i am seriously no shit gonna really start writing regularly. i let my other blog go to weeds. not sure if i will delete it or not. this one has been around forever, and it's interesting to see where it was and where it was going.
i think i will make this my main place to write.
fuck yeah. now i gotta shower, i stink from today's ride, which was pretty wonderful. only rode about 38 km, but it was sort of windy, so i had that going for me.
lots of other things on the mind, not gonna write now though. i'm happy to be doing this again, this must be a regular thing.
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