disconnected

it's saturday evening, 7:09 pm, i'm in the same clothes i woke up in, haven't left my house all day.  it was gray and rainy, while i don't feel blatantly sick, i don't feel well.  i didn't do crap today, i finished a book assassins creed: the secret crusade by oliver bowden, based off the game.  it was good, bubblegum for the brain.  i practised the swe shift, it's my new thing, and i slept. 

i did make a tasty soup, simple, and oh so good.  sauteed mirepoix, added chicken stock, handful of dried shiitakes, barley, shot of whisky, shot of soy sauce, sqauirt of lemon and it was fucking deeeeeelicious.  i also made baba ganouj.  yum. 

i should have gone for a bike ride today, i haven't ridden a bike in what feels like a month.  i am hoping to ride next week, going down to hurricane to ride gooseberry mesa.

i don't know what to do, i dont' want to do anything.  i am missing my friends bachelor party, that sucks. 

fuck it, think i'll read some more, maybe watch crap on the internet, then go to sleep early.  

blah

it is thursday, it's sunny and actually warm out, but i'm staying in, i feel droopy, i feel disconnected.  been off lately, don't know why.  talk to my girlfriend, she gets upset for no apparent reason.  my friend gets upset for no apparent reason.  it's like i am saying one thing but others hear something different.  like tyler durden is speaking for me.  i don't get it. 

it makes me want to shut down, break up with my girlfriend, stop talking to my friend, and just be alone.  i don't know what the fuck is going on, i don't know what is wrong or why.  i don't feel edgy, but people seem edgy to me, they seem to be getting upset over nothing, mistaking what i say, reading into shit i say. 

i havent ridden a bike in a week or so, i need to go ride, i should have ridden today.  i feel like i've lost any motivation to do anything, and i have no reason to. 

i hope i get out of this strange murky morass. 

a big day, now i'm sick

yesterday kicked ass.  it was our fouth day out in a row, and yesterday we went big.  we rode 30+ kms, about 20 miles, which doesn't seem like a lot, but these were hard mountain bike miles, lots of climbing, super wicked decents which were technical and you were working, followed by more climbing.  the day was spectacular, weather perfect, trails perfect, my legs actually held up way better than i thought they would.  i was spent, completely and utterly spent. 

woke up this morning and i was sick.  some cold thing.  i wasn't going to ride today anyway, but now that i'm sick, i am definately not gonna ride today or tommorrow.  fuck.


other than that, my phone went all wonky and istn' working and i'm just having a shitty day right now.  i want to go home.  not that it would be any better there, but still. 

i need to sleep. 

a short ride

"i just wanna do a short, easy ride, nothing big today"   this is what we said, what we agreed on, what we apprently felt.  it's not what happened. 

the weather was beautiful, just a hint of cool in the air, but our hands and ears weren't screaming in pain from the cold.  we were in short sleeves and shorts, and it was glorious.  took off from the house, got on dirt, and it was ON! 

it felt like riding through an M C Escher painting, we somehow were always going up a fucking hill.  the trails were in perfect condition, i know somwhere along the way we had to be going down a hill, but it felt like all climbing.   we came out by the road, i thought we were done, but oh no, "lets do one more" seemed to be the attitude of the day, and so we did. 

three and a half hours of riding overall.  my legs were jelly.   twenty + miles on a mountain bike is not a "short, easy" day.   overall, it was a good day, a fun day.  


that was yesterday.  today we are going on a slow, short, easy ride.   we shall see about that.....

sedona

it is almost 11 pm in the evening, i'm in a house in sedona, arizona.  yesterday we did a quick mountain bike ride up at 18 road, i rode strong, and faster than i have, it felt great.  today i drove down through utah, to sedona for our shop retreat/month of riding and partying vacation.  good times. 

i'm tired, i'm going to sleep, but i just quickly wanted to type something while i'm down here. 

now i snooze, tomorrow we ride!

the ottoman slap

yesterday was a great start to a new year, and so far, it's kept on being awesome. 

i'm currently reading the possessed: adventures with russian books and the people who read them by Elif Batuman.  it's pretty fucking hilarious and super interesting.  i learned about "the ottoman slap" (osmanli tokadi), as well as other things.  great book, so well written, it's not like reading, it's like listening to someone talk to you.

i will probably finish it in a day or two.  i have been thinking about trying once again to read 52 books a year, a book a week.  i also want to start riding my bicycle waaaaay more, and on top of it all, i remain super lazy, so we shall see what wins out: books, bikes, or laziness.  i'm sure laziness will prevail, it's pretty fucking strong.

speaking of bikes, went for my second actual ride of the year.  it was such a beautiful day, i had to get out, and my legs were itching and twitchy.  i only rode 31 km, about 19 miles.  i did some sprints to make me feel like i did something.  it was a "recovery" ride, i am indeed a "Recovery ride specialist."  and i'm good with that.   i don't think i will ride any more this week.  i'm gonna rest up and get ready, on the 5th i drive down to Sedona, Arizona, where we will be riding hard, drinking hard, and pretty much having a kick ass time.   i figure i will give my legs a break before i abuse them in a few days. 

the other kick ass thing that happened today is, i got paid!  tomorrow, tuesday, i shall deposit my check, and then wednesday, i shall spend every fucking penny of my paycheck on a goddamn brand new windshield for my car.  awesome.  but overall, i'm not too upset.  it will all work out, it always does. 

now i shall have a cup of tea and read more about russian books and the people who read them. 
and there you have it.  an overall great day. 

the first ride of the year

january 1st.  just got back from riding the monument, and i feel great.  i only rode a total distance of 24 km, about 15 miles, but a good half of that was climbing up 8% grades.  i felt strong today, i didn't think i was gonna make it, but my legs kept pumping, the wheels kept turning, and at the halfway point up the climb i knew i was gonna make it.  instead of stopping at the top as i usually do, i just kept on pedaling, kept on climbing, rode for another km or two.  i could have kept going, did the whole thing, but i had really just wanted to do the first steep climb, and i felt like turning around and coming home, so i did.  my legs weren't tired, my lungs weren't tired, i felt great, i just, for some reason, felt like going home.

the descent was pretty good, i made some turns faster than i had before, i was off my brakes for a good portion, the bike felt good under me.  it was a beautiful day and i had a great ride, a great way to start off the year.

today, i went to get food for dinner, and there was a leg of lamb on sale, from $50 down to $22, so i snatched that up quick and tonight i shall roast a leg of lamb.  i feel rich.  life is good.  i think this year is gonna kick ass.