contentment and happiness kills. flat out. i can't seem to come up with anything, even though deep inside i know i have stuff i want to say and write, but when i type it out, it is like a stuffed tiger, lifeless and non threatening, and even though his teeth are bared and his claws are coming at you, there is no fear, no thought, it's an emtpy shell, a representation of an idea, a grand facade, a lie, emotionless lifeless and dull.
where has the spark gone? perhaps the burning and acid has been soothed by the pepto bismal of happiness and contentment? the sky here is hugemoungous, blue, goes on forever. the mountains are perfect, i am living in a tourist brouchure. i am happy, a bit frustrated, but too happy to care. when we are happy, we let out guard down. we don't need to believe in god, we don't pray, we aren't scared, we don't need favors, everything is going along quite swimmingly thank you very much.
if gwen stefanni had the exact same voice, but was fat and pimply, would anyone want to listen to her? really? i don't want to holla back, girl . i want to change the channel to something more interesting, like an infomercial.
i had an idea about a guy who is miserable and wants to kill himself and tries to induce a heart attack by running hard. he passes out, comes close, but doens't quite die. he keeps trying, and insteat of dying, he gets super fit and healthy and is a great runner, and now his skin clears up, he is trim, and all the endorphins make him happy all the time. it would be obvious for him to get hit by a truck, now that he is happy, so the ending would have him marrying a former pornstar and living to be old and happy.
how many people are living lies right now? how many people are unhappy, because they think they are supposed to have this job and marry at this age and have this many kids and live "this life" from A to Z. these are the people who are bothered by people like marylin manson or other free spirits who do what they truly deep down enjoy. the "normal" people are angry because they are jealous becuse they fell for the lie of a "respectable normal life." in some ways i feel i've compromised my integrity and sold out, even though i really hadn't, cause i dont have any talents i could pimp out and do my own thing with really. but the hypocrisy and small minded jealous driven attacks by patheticly weak people with small insignificant lives, it just drives me up the wall.
and i don't know why i wrote all that, because, like i've said, i am happy. and right now i am tired and going to sleep.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
temporary layoff..easy credit ripoffs....hangin in a chowline
i hate all small living creatures, such as cats, small children, and any stupid adult who takes such hellishcreatures along with them on a 13 hour journey in a small enclosed space at 13 thousand feet...
my cab driver was a nice guy, who talks to animals and listens to his dog...the guy did come up with a great plan for combating nature, dissipating tornadoes and hurricanes before they become huge enough to do damage, as he said, they are living things....he may be a bit sadistic and going about it the wrong way, i wouldn't want to kill an air elemental, lest they come back and kick my ass personally, but he had the right idea....must be the sun, bakes everyone's brain, makes em a bit nuts, but it makes for interesting conversations and an overall good group of people at the bar....
at last...i seem to be not the most insane wierd guy around...
having lived in foreign (to me, not to the people living there) countries, now that i have returned to the land of milk and honey and supersize chocolate bars and 80 oz. buckets of soda with free re-fills and cars cars cars, i can see why people hate us....i wish all americans would live in another country for one year, hell, make it six months, really live there, so when they return home, they can see how loud, arrogant, rude and solipsistic we have become. people are freindly and nice, i get a nod and a hello as i walk down the street, but for the most part, on the outside, people appear to be all those pejoritive terms previously mentioned above....even if they aren't that way truly, that is how they are initially.....what happened to my country? or has my skin lost a few layers?
still, i am happy to be here...i like the sky, it's fucking huge...i can walk down the street in the sun and watch a lightingn and rain storm off in the mountains...live entertainment for free...better than the neon swarm i had to fight through....
neon kills the spirits you know...
television is awesome...i have like 76 channels or so, of crap i hardly care about....but i get to watch gary busey lose weight along with the snapple lady and that dude from warrant (once, in hawaii, i met the dude from warrant at a strip joint and he invited me along to some bar and we played pool and i got to hang out with the dude from warrant...i don't even like warrant....and all those chicks were hot, but i managed to not get laid...it's a talent...)...i also get to see all the commercials for feminine hygene...aparently, these ladies don't have time for period pain....oh, and kids love thier new cool diapers that tell them when they peed in thier pants...are the kids that dumb that they don't notice?... i have to write a whole thing on tv, let me keep watching it...i cant turn away....
the best part is the jet lag...it leaves me in a mind numbed doped up state, all naturally....without having to worry about being arrested by "the man"... damn the man....too tired to write coherently, but not too tired to spank it...so without further ado, time to give myself a low five and get some sleep....
a few months and i will be ready to go....
my cab driver was a nice guy, who talks to animals and listens to his dog...the guy did come up with a great plan for combating nature, dissipating tornadoes and hurricanes before they become huge enough to do damage, as he said, they are living things....he may be a bit sadistic and going about it the wrong way, i wouldn't want to kill an air elemental, lest they come back and kick my ass personally, but he had the right idea....must be the sun, bakes everyone's brain, makes em a bit nuts, but it makes for interesting conversations and an overall good group of people at the bar....
at last...i seem to be not the most insane wierd guy around...
having lived in foreign (to me, not to the people living there) countries, now that i have returned to the land of milk and honey and supersize chocolate bars and 80 oz. buckets of soda with free re-fills and cars cars cars, i can see why people hate us....i wish all americans would live in another country for one year, hell, make it six months, really live there, so when they return home, they can see how loud, arrogant, rude and solipsistic we have become. people are freindly and nice, i get a nod and a hello as i walk down the street, but for the most part, on the outside, people appear to be all those pejoritive terms previously mentioned above....even if they aren't that way truly, that is how they are initially.....what happened to my country? or has my skin lost a few layers?
still, i am happy to be here...i like the sky, it's fucking huge...i can walk down the street in the sun and watch a lightingn and rain storm off in the mountains...live entertainment for free...better than the neon swarm i had to fight through....
neon kills the spirits you know...
television is awesome...i have like 76 channels or so, of crap i hardly care about....but i get to watch gary busey lose weight along with the snapple lady and that dude from warrant (once, in hawaii, i met the dude from warrant at a strip joint and he invited me along to some bar and we played pool and i got to hang out with the dude from warrant...i don't even like warrant....and all those chicks were hot, but i managed to not get laid...it's a talent...)...i also get to see all the commercials for feminine hygene...aparently, these ladies don't have time for period pain....oh, and kids love thier new cool diapers that tell them when they peed in thier pants...are the kids that dumb that they don't notice?... i have to write a whole thing on tv, let me keep watching it...i cant turn away....
the best part is the jet lag...it leaves me in a mind numbed doped up state, all naturally....without having to worry about being arrested by "the man"... damn the man....too tired to write coherently, but not too tired to spank it...so without further ado, time to give myself a low five and get some sleep....
a few months and i will be ready to go....
Thursday, July 21, 2005
the sun sets in the east
my bags packed, my feet besocked, i find myself with time to murder....what better way to fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way than to blog it to the world...
like the fat kid in dodge ball, i am outta here...done...and although i may look back fondly and remenisce from time to time, i will not miss it outright...me and this country have gotten enough out of each other, it's time we see other people...we've had a good run, but all things, good and bad, must come to an end...
the next time i write a blog entry, i will be in the states....i may write something about a movie star named Tori Adore, who brings joy to the world with her magical breasts, that inspire men and women to break out of thier hum drum lives and achieve greatness in various fields, ranging from nanotechnology to the nascent job market of international truck wrestling...but that shall have to wait...
now i must be off to squeeze myelf into a long metal tube that weighs a few tons yet manages to give the finger to gravity for about 12 hours in a row, and we forget how that is almost magic, and just think about the crappy food foisted upon us......seriously, flight, television, all that crap, still amazes me if i think about it....
i am happy and looking forward to whatever new crap sneaks up and cracks me on the back of the head...perhaps i will find whatever the hell i am looking for.....
like the fat kid in dodge ball, i am outta here...done...and although i may look back fondly and remenisce from time to time, i will not miss it outright...me and this country have gotten enough out of each other, it's time we see other people...we've had a good run, but all things, good and bad, must come to an end...
the next time i write a blog entry, i will be in the states....i may write something about a movie star named Tori Adore, who brings joy to the world with her magical breasts, that inspire men and women to break out of thier hum drum lives and achieve greatness in various fields, ranging from nanotechnology to the nascent job market of international truck wrestling...but that shall have to wait...
now i must be off to squeeze myelf into a long metal tube that weighs a few tons yet manages to give the finger to gravity for about 12 hours in a row, and we forget how that is almost magic, and just think about the crappy food foisted upon us......seriously, flight, television, all that crap, still amazes me if i think about it....
i am happy and looking forward to whatever new crap sneaks up and cracks me on the back of the head...perhaps i will find whatever the hell i am looking for.....
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
MOVIE REVIEW: War of the Worlds
NOTE: before i begin this entry...... my prayers and condolences to australians on the loss of thier women's national cycling team, who suffered a great loss and were pretty much taken out by a driver in germany...
MOVIE REVIEW on "WAR OF THE WORLDS":
i am not a big tom cruise fan, but the movie *is* based on a story from HG Wells, who was a bit of a visionary, predicting a decent amount of modern stuff we take for granted today. interestingly, orson wells, no relation (that i know of) scared the bejesus out of america (now we have no bejesus) back in the day, when everyone was still a bunch of gullible rubes who believed in any crackpot story. sure, we still are still a bunch of gullible rubes, but now it's more high tech, modern, or cool crackpot stories we believe in.
i like orson wells a lot actually. as trite as it may be, if you watch "citizen kane" with a critical eye, it is a genius movie all around. also, orson wells was an accomplished "amateur" magician, which is pretty cool, and he even used that when he was in the movie "casino royale", the james bond spoof, where orson played a bad guy who was doing magic tricks while he gambled at the casino. (note: casino royale was the first "james bond" book written by ian flemming, who also wrote "chitty chitty bang bang" but the first bond movie made was "dr. no". of course, the book was serious, but i liked the way they made it into a spoof, with david niven and woody allen, who i think is brilliant really.
i think one of my favoirite woody allen movies is "love and death" which takes place during the russian war against napolean, absolutely hilarious, excellent dialogue, well worth checking out. a lot better than his more well known movies like "sleeper" which is a pretty funny look at the future.
speaking of the future, why the hell aren't i wearning a jumpsuit and driving around in a flying car, just like all the movies of the future told me i was gonna do? in a way i'm kind of glad, i am not a big fan of the jumpsuit, but they do seem pretty damn simple. imagine everyone walking around with the same gay ass jumpsuit? and an annoying robot like Twiki going "bitty-bitty-bitty." remeber Twiki from the old "buck rogers" tv show? i had a thing for erin gray, the hot chick in that show. i really like brunettes. then again, i like blondes, red heads, bald chicks....pretty much if it's female, i like it.
anyway, getting back to the review.... war of the worlds: it sucked.
MOVIE REVIEW on "WAR OF THE WORLDS":
i am not a big tom cruise fan, but the movie *is* based on a story from HG Wells, who was a bit of a visionary, predicting a decent amount of modern stuff we take for granted today. interestingly, orson wells, no relation (that i know of) scared the bejesus out of america (now we have no bejesus) back in the day, when everyone was still a bunch of gullible rubes who believed in any crackpot story. sure, we still are still a bunch of gullible rubes, but now it's more high tech, modern, or cool crackpot stories we believe in.
i like orson wells a lot actually. as trite as it may be, if you watch "citizen kane" with a critical eye, it is a genius movie all around. also, orson wells was an accomplished "amateur" magician, which is pretty cool, and he even used that when he was in the movie "casino royale", the james bond spoof, where orson played a bad guy who was doing magic tricks while he gambled at the casino. (note: casino royale was the first "james bond" book written by ian flemming, who also wrote "chitty chitty bang bang" but the first bond movie made was "dr. no". of course, the book was serious, but i liked the way they made it into a spoof, with david niven and woody allen, who i think is brilliant really.
i think one of my favoirite woody allen movies is "love and death" which takes place during the russian war against napolean, absolutely hilarious, excellent dialogue, well worth checking out. a lot better than his more well known movies like "sleeper" which is a pretty funny look at the future.
speaking of the future, why the hell aren't i wearning a jumpsuit and driving around in a flying car, just like all the movies of the future told me i was gonna do? in a way i'm kind of glad, i am not a big fan of the jumpsuit, but they do seem pretty damn simple. imagine everyone walking around with the same gay ass jumpsuit? and an annoying robot like Twiki going "bitty-bitty-bitty." remeber Twiki from the old "buck rogers" tv show? i had a thing for erin gray, the hot chick in that show. i really like brunettes. then again, i like blondes, red heads, bald chicks....pretty much if it's female, i like it.
anyway, getting back to the review.... war of the worlds: it sucked.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
don't fight the band that heeds you
social distortion makes me want to drink beer out of a longneck bottle, smoke cigarettes, and play pool....they have that sound, that scratchy, tacky floor littered with peanut shells sound, the sound that makes people with motorcycles hang out and chicks who ride on the back of motorcycles shake thier lucious asses provocitively on the dancefloor....
stage 14 is done, lance is comfortably in yellow, things appear right with the world, at least on the superficial surface....
bread and circuses...yay..
no matter what happens, the world keeps going around the sun and we keep marking the passing, the future, much like the hits, keeps on commin'! i have less than one week before i go back to the states for a few months in preperation for the new job. the next few months will be busy, i won't write much online (my notebook journal is getting a good workout) but eventually, i will be back to keeping the online journal blog thing. i will go back to blogging, full contact blogging, with the note leaving and the reading and the daily posting etc etc. ...
i hope my plane doesn't crash.
stage 14 is done, lance is comfortably in yellow, things appear right with the world, at least on the superficial surface....
bread and circuses...yay..
no matter what happens, the world keeps going around the sun and we keep marking the passing, the future, much like the hits, keeps on commin'! i have less than one week before i go back to the states for a few months in preperation for the new job. the next few months will be busy, i won't write much online (my notebook journal is getting a good workout) but eventually, i will be back to keeping the online journal blog thing. i will go back to blogging, full contact blogging, with the note leaving and the reading and the daily posting etc etc. ...
i hope my plane doesn't crash.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Lo! what wild talents are in the miso soup
in the words of sir george washingtonalot, "i cannot tell a lie...i like big butts."
my hand on the small of your back, eyes meet, we both know it's coming. the gravity between our two solid bodies increases as we draw imperceptibly closer. eyes drop to half mast, sultry, inviting, almost pornographically hinting. the kiss.
we are supine, your lips are sanguine, you are divine, i am yours and you..well, you know...
another kiss. a drop of sweat forms at the maginot line of your hair and scalp. i suckle you like a starving child, your head bobs in ecstasy, the drop of sweat rolls slowly down your forehead.
my hands grab and knead the flesh of your perfect and beautiful ass. the drop of sweat rolls between your eyebrows.
you lower yourself on me, slowly, like easing yourself into an extremely hot bath, the pain melting into pleasure. the drop of sweat rolls down your nose. the nose i love to kiss playfully, or rub like an eskimo with my own, which makes you laugh. i like to make you laugh, your smile is a ray of sunshine, your giggle is beethoven and marylin manson.
your hands grab my chest, your fingers dig into my pectorals like a cat getting a good backscratch. the drop of sweat hangs on the tip of your nose as you look down at me looking up at you looking down at me.
at about this time, the guy sent to clean up the spill on aisle 4 comes over and tells us we are causing a disturbance and we need to leave the supermarket. we dress and quickly leave.
if only i had gotten your name and number.
my hand on the small of your back, eyes meet, we both know it's coming. the gravity between our two solid bodies increases as we draw imperceptibly closer. eyes drop to half mast, sultry, inviting, almost pornographically hinting. the kiss.
we are supine, your lips are sanguine, you are divine, i am yours and you..well, you know...
another kiss. a drop of sweat forms at the maginot line of your hair and scalp. i suckle you like a starving child, your head bobs in ecstasy, the drop of sweat rolls slowly down your forehead.
my hands grab and knead the flesh of your perfect and beautiful ass. the drop of sweat rolls between your eyebrows.
you lower yourself on me, slowly, like easing yourself into an extremely hot bath, the pain melting into pleasure. the drop of sweat rolls down your nose. the nose i love to kiss playfully, or rub like an eskimo with my own, which makes you laugh. i like to make you laugh, your smile is a ray of sunshine, your giggle is beethoven and marylin manson.
your hands grab my chest, your fingers dig into my pectorals like a cat getting a good backscratch. the drop of sweat hangs on the tip of your nose as you look down at me looking up at you looking down at me.
at about this time, the guy sent to clean up the spill on aisle 4 comes over and tells us we are causing a disturbance and we need to leave the supermarket. we dress and quickly leave.
if only i had gotten your name and number.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
anchor what? pt 2
i posted a few more pictures, i think that shall about do it for now, they all start to look the same after awhile...
so i'm sitting in this shady "cafe" and i order a coffee, i get a cup one third filled with black liquid and a hot kettle. i figure i am supposed to add the hot water and make a full cup, so i pour the water in. it is a bit off color, but i figure it's boiled so it is clean. turns out i invented green tea coffee. i gotta say, it's not bad, not bad at all....
i hate haggling, just fucking hate it. first off, if we both know i am going to pay $1 for a ride, why do we have to go through the dance? save time, tell me the price, and lets move on. second, on bigger things, i just know i am getting ripped off, and why do i have to pay more just cause i am a "rich" westerner? yeah yeah, basic economics, but it seems prejudice and unfair that i have to pay more cause you are greedy and i am supposedly rich. i don't mind paying a bit more, but if something costs you 50 cents and i have to pay two dollors, that is a huge markup. fuck you poor people...
the smell and sights of fly encrusted meat and dubious drinking water really helps you appreciate your blue passport...
although it would cause assloads of damage and should never happen ever, it would be pretty damn cool to have a rave type party, with laser lights and djs spinning records and people dancing and bass booming through you and all that all night long at the top of the hill that overlooks ankor wat and all that, where you go to watch the sunset with the other three hundred people....
i want to start tours for cambodians and vietnamese and other third world people. i will drive them in a bus up a regular street in a small town in the states, and they can take pictures of people mowing thier lawn, laying out, walking thier dog, etc. then i would take them into someone's house, and they would walk all over and take pictures of the people watching tv, taking a bath, cooking. then i will give them a tour of wal mart, and let them go shopping. i figure, that is what we do when we go to the third world, it should work in reverse....
ok, enough of that. i mock and laugh at those people who go somewhere, and for the next week, every sentance starts with "well, when i was in _________...." and act like they are the only people who have been there and are all experts on it now. those people get old after about 15 minutes, and i want to be young forever....
i am getting a bit bored with the planet. doggammit, i wanna travel the universe and bum around the galaxies, i wanna do it with alien chicks (actually, i'd be rather happy to do it with human chicks, but that doesn't seem to happen ever, so maybe i need a new race of beings.) i want adventure, excitement, crazy space diseases, i wanna meet aliens and hang out with them, be their pet human. i wonder how you would be able to tell if an alien is a nerd on his planet. what if you met some alien, and you listen to him or her cause they should know what's going on, but it turns out they are losers on thier planet?
i'm a junkie looking for a fix
i'm a hooker looking for new tricks
i'm an excommunicated priest
i'm the dearly departed, recently deceased
i'm a guitar playing the wrong chord
i'm burnt out, and frankly, i'm bored
so i'm sitting in this shady "cafe" and i order a coffee, i get a cup one third filled with black liquid and a hot kettle. i figure i am supposed to add the hot water and make a full cup, so i pour the water in. it is a bit off color, but i figure it's boiled so it is clean. turns out i invented green tea coffee. i gotta say, it's not bad, not bad at all....
i hate haggling, just fucking hate it. first off, if we both know i am going to pay $1 for a ride, why do we have to go through the dance? save time, tell me the price, and lets move on. second, on bigger things, i just know i am getting ripped off, and why do i have to pay more just cause i am a "rich" westerner? yeah yeah, basic economics, but it seems prejudice and unfair that i have to pay more cause you are greedy and i am supposedly rich. i don't mind paying a bit more, but if something costs you 50 cents and i have to pay two dollors, that is a huge markup. fuck you poor people...
the smell and sights of fly encrusted meat and dubious drinking water really helps you appreciate your blue passport...
although it would cause assloads of damage and should never happen ever, it would be pretty damn cool to have a rave type party, with laser lights and djs spinning records and people dancing and bass booming through you and all that all night long at the top of the hill that overlooks ankor wat and all that, where you go to watch the sunset with the other three hundred people....
i want to start tours for cambodians and vietnamese and other third world people. i will drive them in a bus up a regular street in a small town in the states, and they can take pictures of people mowing thier lawn, laying out, walking thier dog, etc. then i would take them into someone's house, and they would walk all over and take pictures of the people watching tv, taking a bath, cooking. then i will give them a tour of wal mart, and let them go shopping. i figure, that is what we do when we go to the third world, it should work in reverse....
ok, enough of that. i mock and laugh at those people who go somewhere, and for the next week, every sentance starts with "well, when i was in _________...." and act like they are the only people who have been there and are all experts on it now. those people get old after about 15 minutes, and i want to be young forever....
i am getting a bit bored with the planet. doggammit, i wanna travel the universe and bum around the galaxies, i wanna do it with alien chicks (actually, i'd be rather happy to do it with human chicks, but that doesn't seem to happen ever, so maybe i need a new race of beings.) i want adventure, excitement, crazy space diseases, i wanna meet aliens and hang out with them, be their pet human. i wonder how you would be able to tell if an alien is a nerd on his planet. what if you met some alien, and you listen to him or her cause they should know what's going on, but it turns out they are losers on thier planet?
i'm a junkie looking for a fix
i'm a hooker looking for new tricks
i'm an excommunicated priest
i'm the dearly departed, recently deceased
i'm a guitar playing the wrong chord
i'm burnt out, and frankly, i'm bored
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
poor people annoy me and i hate them
"Many children lost thier lives. I was one of them" - some cambodian guy i talked to
instead of boring you silly with a day by day, minute by minute account of my trip to vietbodia, you can make up your own cool stories based off of observations and phrases and crap that is in my head from what i have seen and done this last week....
- vietnamese chicks are indeed "boup coup dinky dow." so are cambodian chicks. (no, i didn't get laid, not even close).
- hey, Mr. lonely planet, only the women wear the lampshade hat. you don't look as cool as you think and everyone is silently laughing at you.
- apparently, vietnamese will worship just about anything they think will bring them good luck. if i can convince enough people scratching my hairy back will bring them good luck, i am moving to viet nam, starting my own cult, and building my temple right next to the eyeworshippers temple and the XU lady temple and i can have my back scratched all damn day. benefit to the people is they don't have to give me any money or food or all that other crap they have to give the other cults. they just have to scratch my back. everyone wins.
- hey, Bitchy McCrab, how about you smile and not look at me with hatred when you sell me the damn t-shirt, you work in the tourist industry. If you aren't happy with my tourist dollors and don't like it, you can make the same money to feed your family by having butt sex with fat sweaty germans all day and night, how does that sound? isn't it just easier to fake a smile?
- crossing the border from Chou Doc, viet nam, up the Mekong River to Phnom Penn, cambodia, by speed boat is as exciting as it sounds....for the first 10 minutes. the next three hours are just boring.
- just cause someone doesn't wear $200 nike shoes and Ecko clothing and have an ipod does not mean they are poor. the next fucktard who wants me to give money based off a picture of a naked kid in a thatch shack gets a punch to the forehead. the kid is naked cause it's fucking HOT and the house is a shack cause it's easier to break down and carry for the move they do every few weeks. you don't see the television and food and the people playing cards inside the hut. and if a kid is really starving, they don't wave and smile and laugh and play in the mud puddle. poverty is reletive.
- if you drive around on a US$1,000 moped, you aint poor. there is more food in the jungle than you can eat. i'd rather be content than have lots of money
- i want to cross a chicken and a monkey , and call it a chunky. it will have the head of a monkey and the feathered winged body of a chicken, with little monkey hands. i can train it to do cool things and then eat it.
- a gentle, natural smile, for no apparent reason other than human freindliness, can change your mood in a nanosecond, and makes the whole world seem wonderful. it almost makes you believe the myth of finding love and happiness.
- fierce jungle chickens.
- large pots are not only good for cooking large amounts of food, but are great personal watercraft for paddling around the lake. see the picture on this one.
- siem reap (translation: the Thai levelled this city) is quite safe, clean, and heavily touristed. even the slow season is busy. there aren't khemer gunmen everywhere like you might have thought.
- ankor wat, ankor thom, all those places, are worth the visit, and you should go while you can still climb all over them, before all the foot and ass traffic makes them off limits. where else can you sit on ruins? it would be cool to have a rave there, i gotta say. they are a great place to meet mobs of south koreans with cameras and matching hats who get in all your pictures and are EVERYWHERE.
- i would rather hang out with the three old fat australians who were freindly and fun than the young tie dye wearing, hemp wearing, pierced backpackers who thought they should be the only ones allowed in the park. the younger english chick was pretty cool though, i would hang out with her.
- if the pumkin soup doesn't agree with your digestive system on one night, it's pretty stupid to get the fried pumpkin the next night. really.
i have more, i might write them later, i might just not....pics are up, but not all of them, i might add more, i might just not....i'm home now, think i shall rest....
instead of boring you silly with a day by day, minute by minute account of my trip to vietbodia, you can make up your own cool stories based off of observations and phrases and crap that is in my head from what i have seen and done this last week....
- vietnamese chicks are indeed "boup coup dinky dow." so are cambodian chicks. (no, i didn't get laid, not even close).
- hey, Mr. lonely planet, only the women wear the lampshade hat. you don't look as cool as you think and everyone is silently laughing at you.
- apparently, vietnamese will worship just about anything they think will bring them good luck. if i can convince enough people scratching my hairy back will bring them good luck, i am moving to viet nam, starting my own cult, and building my temple right next to the eyeworshippers temple and the XU lady temple and i can have my back scratched all damn day. benefit to the people is they don't have to give me any money or food or all that other crap they have to give the other cults. they just have to scratch my back. everyone wins.
- hey, Bitchy McCrab, how about you smile and not look at me with hatred when you sell me the damn t-shirt, you work in the tourist industry. If you aren't happy with my tourist dollors and don't like it, you can make the same money to feed your family by having butt sex with fat sweaty germans all day and night, how does that sound? isn't it just easier to fake a smile?
- crossing the border from Chou Doc, viet nam, up the Mekong River to Phnom Penn, cambodia, by speed boat is as exciting as it sounds....for the first 10 minutes. the next three hours are just boring.
- just cause someone doesn't wear $200 nike shoes and Ecko clothing and have an ipod does not mean they are poor. the next fucktard who wants me to give money based off a picture of a naked kid in a thatch shack gets a punch to the forehead. the kid is naked cause it's fucking HOT and the house is a shack cause it's easier to break down and carry for the move they do every few weeks. you don't see the television and food and the people playing cards inside the hut. and if a kid is really starving, they don't wave and smile and laugh and play in the mud puddle. poverty is reletive.
- if you drive around on a US$1,000 moped, you aint poor. there is more food in the jungle than you can eat. i'd rather be content than have lots of money
- i want to cross a chicken and a monkey , and call it a chunky. it will have the head of a monkey and the feathered winged body of a chicken, with little monkey hands. i can train it to do cool things and then eat it.
- a gentle, natural smile, for no apparent reason other than human freindliness, can change your mood in a nanosecond, and makes the whole world seem wonderful. it almost makes you believe the myth of finding love and happiness.
- fierce jungle chickens.
- large pots are not only good for cooking large amounts of food, but are great personal watercraft for paddling around the lake. see the picture on this one.
- siem reap (translation: the Thai levelled this city) is quite safe, clean, and heavily touristed. even the slow season is busy. there aren't khemer gunmen everywhere like you might have thought.
- ankor wat, ankor thom, all those places, are worth the visit, and you should go while you can still climb all over them, before all the foot and ass traffic makes them off limits. where else can you sit on ruins? it would be cool to have a rave there, i gotta say. they are a great place to meet mobs of south koreans with cameras and matching hats who get in all your pictures and are EVERYWHERE.
- i would rather hang out with the three old fat australians who were freindly and fun than the young tie dye wearing, hemp wearing, pierced backpackers who thought they should be the only ones allowed in the park. the younger english chick was pretty cool though, i would hang out with her.
- if the pumkin soup doesn't agree with your digestive system on one night, it's pretty stupid to get the fried pumpkin the next night. really.
i have more, i might write them later, i might just not....pics are up, but not all of them, i might add more, i might just not....i'm home now, think i shall rest....
Saturday, July 02, 2005
kick me in the crunch berries
here it is the 2nd of july, but it don't matter until it is the 2nd in france, cause that is where Le Tour is, and it starts on the 2nd, yay. now that lance armstrong is riding, it seems americans finally kind of care about cycling, so that is one good thing that came out of it. once he stops racing, i assume the majority will no longer care, but those of us who watched Le Tour before lance will continue well after he is gone. damn i wish i had the outdoor life network channel. anyway, the Giro d' Italia (italian tour) is a way cooler race, cause it's in italy. still...Vive Le Tour!!!!!!!
i went to the waterfall as i said i would, and although it was raining, it was still quite beautiful. the gray light of the sky was filtered through the vibrant green of the wet leaves, the rush of the water was echoing off the rocks, i was wrapped in the smell of wet earth. i could imagine zen monks sitting there practising thier meditation, which is what that place was, an old training place for monks. the cool thing is, although there is a (very small) sign on the side of the road about it, it is empty of people, totally void of humans, which is strange in japan. the small shrine house for ancestors that is there was freshly stocked with piles of salt and inside was a fresh basket of crackers and doritos (i assume the ancestors love the cool ranch flavor?), so people tend the area, but the two times i've been there, i was the only one. it was serene, and wonderful. of course, the batteries on my camera went dead as soon as i turned it on for the first picture, so, there is that then. no pics, sorry.
i was supposed to go to Nikko, an over touristed place chock full o' temples and beautiful things (google it, you'll see). i even recharged my camera bettery and was all sorts of ready to go, and the guy i was gonna go with flaked on me, so i didn't go. there is that then.
but that is ok, because i kinda didn't want to go, i had this wierd feeling about it, and i took it as a sign that i shouldn't have gone. no big deal, i guess, because in a few days, i will depart for vietnam and cambodia to eat tasty food and see ankor wat and maybe not get kidnapped and ransomed and killed, which always puts a damper on a holiday.
so, i won't be writing here for a week or so, but i will make sure i have fresh batteries for the camera and lots o pics and as long as my plane doesn't crash and i don't get shot by khemers, i will come back and write all about it. i should be posting by the 15th. if i don't post by the 16th, i'm dead, just like luther vandross.
i went to the waterfall as i said i would, and although it was raining, it was still quite beautiful. the gray light of the sky was filtered through the vibrant green of the wet leaves, the rush of the water was echoing off the rocks, i was wrapped in the smell of wet earth. i could imagine zen monks sitting there practising thier meditation, which is what that place was, an old training place for monks. the cool thing is, although there is a (very small) sign on the side of the road about it, it is empty of people, totally void of humans, which is strange in japan. the small shrine house for ancestors that is there was freshly stocked with piles of salt and inside was a fresh basket of crackers and doritos (i assume the ancestors love the cool ranch flavor?), so people tend the area, but the two times i've been there, i was the only one. it was serene, and wonderful. of course, the batteries on my camera went dead as soon as i turned it on for the first picture, so, there is that then. no pics, sorry.
i was supposed to go to Nikko, an over touristed place chock full o' temples and beautiful things (google it, you'll see). i even recharged my camera bettery and was all sorts of ready to go, and the guy i was gonna go with flaked on me, so i didn't go. there is that then.
but that is ok, because i kinda didn't want to go, i had this wierd feeling about it, and i took it as a sign that i shouldn't have gone. no big deal, i guess, because in a few days, i will depart for vietnam and cambodia to eat tasty food and see ankor wat and maybe not get kidnapped and ransomed and killed, which always puts a damper on a holiday.
so, i won't be writing here for a week or so, but i will make sure i have fresh batteries for the camera and lots o pics and as long as my plane doesn't crash and i don't get shot by khemers, i will come back and write all about it. i should be posting by the 15th. if i don't post by the 16th, i'm dead, just like luther vandross.
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