poor people annoy me and i hate them

"Many children lost thier lives. I was one of them" - some cambodian guy i talked to

instead of boring you silly with a day by day, minute by minute account of my trip to vietbodia, you can make up your own cool stories based off of observations and phrases and crap that is in my head from what i have seen and done this last week....

- vietnamese chicks are indeed "boup coup dinky dow." so are cambodian chicks. (no, i didn't get laid, not even close).
- hey, Mr. lonely planet, only the women wear the lampshade hat. you don't look as cool as you think and everyone is silently laughing at you.
- apparently, vietnamese will worship just about anything they think will bring them good luck. if i can convince enough people scratching my hairy back will bring them good luck, i am moving to viet nam, starting my own cult, and building my temple right next to the eyeworshippers temple and the XU lady temple and i can have my back scratched all damn day. benefit to the people is they don't have to give me any money or food or all that other crap they have to give the other cults. they just have to scratch my back. everyone wins.
- hey, Bitchy McCrab, how about you smile and not look at me with hatred when you sell me the damn t-shirt, you work in the tourist industry. If you aren't happy with my tourist dollors and don't like it, you can make the same money to feed your family by having butt sex with fat sweaty germans all day and night, how does that sound? isn't it just easier to fake a smile?
- crossing the border from Chou Doc, viet nam, up the Mekong River to Phnom Penn, cambodia, by speed boat is as exciting as it sounds....for the first 10 minutes. the next three hours are just boring.
- just cause someone doesn't wear $200 nike shoes and Ecko clothing and have an ipod does not mean they are poor. the next fucktard who wants me to give money based off a picture of a naked kid in a thatch shack gets a punch to the forehead. the kid is naked cause it's fucking HOT and the house is a shack cause it's easier to break down and carry for the move they do every few weeks. you don't see the television and food and the people playing cards inside the hut. and if a kid is really starving, they don't wave and smile and laugh and play in the mud puddle. poverty is reletive.
- if you drive around on a US$1,000 moped, you aint poor. there is more food in the jungle than you can eat. i'd rather be content than have lots of money
- i want to cross a chicken and a monkey , and call it a chunky. it will have the head of a monkey and the feathered winged body of a chicken, with little monkey hands. i can train it to do cool things and then eat it.
- a gentle, natural smile, for no apparent reason other than human freindliness, can change your mood in a nanosecond, and makes the whole world seem wonderful. it almost makes you believe the myth of finding love and happiness.
- fierce jungle chickens.
- large pots are not only good for cooking large amounts of food, but are great personal watercraft for paddling around the lake. see the picture on this one.
- siem reap (translation: the Thai levelled this city) is quite safe, clean, and heavily touristed. even the slow season is busy. there aren't khemer gunmen everywhere like you might have thought.
- ankor wat, ankor thom, all those places, are worth the visit, and you should go while you can still climb all over them, before all the foot and ass traffic makes them off limits. where else can you sit on ruins? it would be cool to have a rave there, i gotta say. they are a great place to meet mobs of south koreans with cameras and matching hats who get in all your pictures and are EVERYWHERE.
- i would rather hang out with the three old fat australians who were freindly and fun than the young tie dye wearing, hemp wearing, pierced backpackers who thought they should be the only ones allowed in the park. the younger english chick was pretty cool though, i would hang out with her.
- if the pumkin soup doesn't agree with your digestive system on one night, it's pretty stupid to get the fried pumpkin the next night. really.

i have more, i might write them later, i might just not....pics are up, but not all of them, i might add more, i might just not....i'm home now, think i shall rest....