liberace was not a musician. he sucked as a musician. he was a performer/showman who happened to play the piano. he played it technically perfect, each note played just as it was written. so how could he have sucked?
feeling. the music he played had as much soul as a vampire. he was all flash and glitter, no substance.
when i play the guitar, i play other people's songs, other people's music. i listen to how they play, i listen to the timing and phrasing and such, and i do my best to ape them. frankly i suck, and i'm not being modest, i really suck, but i like to play and amuse myself.
but i've been thinking....do i have a "right" to play the music? no, that is not the right words, but, what i am trying to say is...do i have any soul?
i do not play like a man who went down to the mississsippi delta and waited to sell my soul at the crossroads, not even close. when i play, it feels (to me) empty. i used to play AC/DC's "you shook me all night long" note for note, right along with angus, i even did the headbob thing (when i was alone in my room sure that noone could see). i hit all the notes just as they were played, but did it have any feeling behind it? did it have any ass?
now, when i tool around the fretboard, i play a riff here and a lick there, but i wonder, does my voice come out? i think not. music can be and should be an expression, you should feel the passion, the pain, the ecstasy, in each song. there are songs that, when you listen to them, you can feel the smile of a pretty woman, her eyes connecting with your soul, sunshine bouncing off her hair. there are songs where you can feel the empty void of lonliness and despair, or the electricity you feel in that first two seconds when the band takes the stage, it is still dark, and they play that first ripping loud guitar chord, the first two seconds when, no matter how packed in you are, everyone surges forward and you feel like you are trying to disprove that phyics law about no two solid bodies existing in the same space. (if i could bottle that energy and sell it, it would be bigger than solar powered crack).
that is how music should sound, but i don't hear it when i play. ok, so musician is not my primary or secondary or even tertiary occupation, it is a hobby, something i do for myself and no one else. but when i play, i wonder if i am doing Music a diservice, if i am being somehow sacrilgious and profane towards Music.
i know i have some feelings to draw on. i know i have pain and lonliness (at least, it sure hurts like i do), joy and lust, yet i cannot seem to translate that into music, as much as i might want to. if i try to play something with attitude, something that sounds like a sultry vixen swishing towards you in a smoky bar, stilletto heels clicking on the floor as she gives you a "hunry tiger ready to eat it's prey" look, i usually end up sounding like how you would imagine steven hawking playing a guitar. it's like a language where i can say the words but i dont' really know what they mean and i can't make any sentances myself, i can only repeat what is in the phrasebook.
can anyone, with enough instruction and practice, play a musical instrument beautifully? or can only those people who have had significant emotional highs or lows play? if you cannot seem to convey your feelings, is it possible you just don't have feelings deep enough to convey? or can they be too shallow? is it possibl that some people just shouldnt' bother playing a musical instrument? almost...not worthy enough to? what if musical instruments were a way to talk to god, would only those who could qualify as "priests" or "preistesses" be allowed?
that would be a kinda neat story, a culture who uses music as a religion, and only priests can play instruments....hmmmm....
i wonder if liberace ever lounged around in his bazillion dollar mansion, bathing in caviar and champagne, worrying about it.
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