this just don't gonna be a nothin

i like to refer to my bathroom as "the poopatorium"

i like to refer to toilet paper as "shit tickets"

i want to write a story about a cursed lord of a castle married to a succubus, and the castle moves every 14th month. it will be a gothic horror sex filled comedy,

today i will go see a waterfall that, although there is a sign for it, it is out of the way and kind of hidden. i will take pictures.

today i think i shall bake a choclate honey cake.

i shook the hand of the guy who was the hand in the addams family movie.

i knew the lady who did the puppets in the incredibly crappy movie "killer clowns from outer space."

i spent an afternoon with Jerry Andrus at his house in oregon, and he is one of the coolest people i've met.

i had this incredibly freaky dirty dream last night that was a bit unsettling when i woke up and thought about it.

a pig raised properly will produce fat that is similar in health benefits to olive oil...high in HDL (good cholesterol) and low in LDL (bad cholesterol), and will be full of tasty flavor and healthy and happy. most of the pigs raised in the states are not raised properly, and if people knew how they were raised, would be disgusted and outraged. what they call "farms" are really factories.

i want to buy a digital video camera and have my own tv show on the web, maybe make 5 minute movies or whatever.

i've thougth about podcasting.

i want to go a whole day (two days if possible) without speaking at all, without uttering a single sound. i bet i would be more concious of the things i say, and perhaps i would be more careful with my words and even a better listener.

if i only had 24 hours to live, i would not be upset or think i missed out on anything. i wouldn't call up anyone and say what i wanted to say to them. i would eat beer battered chocolate cake and potato chips, maybe fry up a duck and dip bread in the sweet tasty fat and smoke a pack of pall malls and drink a bottle of wine and relax and enjoy, knowing it would all be over shortly.

i am hungry and i'm going to eat something now.