assfuck

goddammit i am cursed i swear. i am meant to stay frustrated and tormented as if by the hand of some vindictive spirit who deep down hates me but pretends to be a friend while secretly laughing and joyously celebrating when things go wrong for me.

i need to change the address on my credit card, but for some fucking reason, they have my birthdate wrong. how the fuck did that happen and how, after many many years in dog time did that not come up or get fixed? fine, fuck you, i will get another fucking credit card, but oh no, for some motherfucking cocksmoking assfuck reason the goddamn website isn't working and i can't access my motherfucking god damn bank account. i hate it and i feel like i am being played. i feel like i don't have control over my own god damned (and god did in fact personally damn me to a slavish hellish life on this god forsaken by everyone planet) life.

it's like swimming upstream when your aren't a salmon, or when you are a salmon but there is a bear waiting for you. it's like pushing a door that says pull, but you are too fucking retarded to notice. it's like every god damned motherfucking cocksmoking shitpisscuntfuck decision i make is the exact wrong one, cleverly designed to cause the most greif/stress/heartache/pain humanly and inhumanly possible. there is a preternatural force fucking with me, i am life's bitch and life is the heavy handed pimp and i apparently owe the mutherfucker some money for crack that i didn't even get to smoke.

why do i get put in the special ed class of life? why must i be alligned with the bucktoothed two inch thick glasses wearing overweight slow speeched motherfuckers who grasp thier fork with all the fingers wrapped around it like they are going to jerk it off and shovel food in thier maw evern though they are already chewing? that makes me one of them by association. what the fuck did i do in my past life to make me come back as "that guy"? what god or goddess or diety or supreme being did i piss off? did i walk into someone's temple and whiz on thier sacred altar? i swear it was that guy named jinx who worked in the voodoo shop in new orleans during mardi gras so many years ago. either that or some jealous evil woman (which if you think about it, the term jealous evil woman is pretty damn redundant, women are born jealous and evil and find an easy mark and snag them and force them into a life of pitiful servitude while all the time acting helpless) put some fucking curse on me.

it's like an invisible fucking wall that surrounds me, and i swear if i could just break out of it, or clear it, get the goddamn monkey off my back....i need a fucking exorcism. fuck, i tried one, but interestingly, the charm i was given to keep disappeared two days later and i havent found it since, as if someone didn't want me to be free of whatever demon i am enslaved to....

fuck i hope i die soon and get it over with