quiche recipe for teens

the following is an excerpt from "you don't need your parents, they are annoying idiots: a cookbook for teens" ....

prehat the oven to 350 degrees. it sucks that you have to do this now because it takes so damn long to heat up. god, you could be doing something way better right now....anyway....

chop up and fry some onions in butter or olive oil until they are soft and see through (like that jerks who lie to you all the time), then put them aside, ignore them, the way your parents ignore your needs. they don't listen or understand anyway.

beat four eggs like you would beat your damn teacher who always gets on your case and plays favorites with the "popular" kids. add one cup of milk, or half and half, either way it doesn't matter. nothing matters. mix into the eggs with hate and rage and salt and pepper, and other herbs if you want to like dill (haha, dill weed! or basil...fuck, put what you want in there).

get some cheese, chedder or mozzerrella. shred it like your boyfriend/girlfriend shredded your heart by dumping you and being a total prick/bitch. remember the onions? (at least you didnt forget them like your parents forgot your birthday that one time. GOD!) check to make sure they are cold like the heartless fuck who dumped you (you don't want them cooking the egg and fucking everything up like all the idiots in your life you fuck up everything). add the onions and the cheese to the egg/milk and stir it around, mix it up like a mosh pit, yeah!

pour the mixture into a ready made pie crust that you buy in the frozen food section because you are a slave to the corporate overlords who don't give a fuck about the little man and would sell their grandmother for a science experiment to make a quick buck. fuck them! but get the pie crust first.

if you want to add things like mushrooms, bean sprouts, spinach, other cheeses, go ahead, do whatever the fuck you feel like...you know what you like and don't have to listen to anyone tell you how to make your quiche...whatever....

bake the whole damn thing for one hour while you chat on the internet with your friends or download some music or put songs on your ipod. do what you feel like, the world is unfair anyway....

it's ready.  eat it, or don't.  whatever.